The Spirit Within

"What is man without beasts? If all the beasts were gone, man would die from a great loneliness of the spirit. For whatever happens to the beasts soon happens to man"   Chief Seattle

Your "beasts" are whatever they are for you as the individual. Mine tend to be more along the lines of personal, professional & spiritual. Funny really, how they coincide with the 3 philosophies of human ecology; mind, body and spirit.  When the mind is in a healthy place it makes it possible for the body to be physically up for the challenge. Making it easier to get in a better spot spiritually. Now please don't confuse spiritual with religion. They are 2 different things. Although for some it is one in the same.

Take care of the body to quiet the mind, so that you may awaken the spirit. Native Americans relied heavily on the spirit world to guide them along their journey and everyday struggles. Whether it was a tree, animal or higher power of their choosing. The problem with today's world is that we are so rushed and under a lot more pressure to get things done or be what others think we should be. Not allowing ourselves time to quiet the mind and look within to awaken our spirit for guidance.

My idea of slowing the mind is to read a book or listen to soothing music and just be in the moment. Forcing out all negative thoughts that sometimes consumes our minds. Thoughts tend to consume me being a single mom and worrying about the daily demands that come along with that or worrying what tomorrow may bring. Worried that I am not good enough. Or that I have not done enough. When I know that today is really all any of us have. This moment; right here, right now. And as long as we continue to take steps forward no matter how big or small, it is still forward & it is good enough just for today.

We'll always have both sides, the dark and the light. The negative and the positive. We are human beings. We tend to strengthen the part of our self that calls to us the loudest. Which side we hear is up to us individually. Let's not forget that all things happen for a reason and are meant for our good. Even the bad experiences. We're given the knowledge and direction we need when we're ready for it. We all got here with god's help and we'll get where we are meant to be in the same loving manner.

When we awaken to the living growing world, our spirits lift and open to the hope and new possibilities life has to offer. If I keep my mind focused on peace, harmony, health and love. Then, I can't be distracted by doubt, anxiety and fear. I have to remind myself on a daily basis that I am a work in progress. And sometimes; I have to do this throughout the day.

Spirituality is one of the common threads through all of this. Our spiritual search is our effort to improve our conscious contact with our higher power. Whatever you choose to call it. I choose to call mine God. Through this will come harmony of the mind,body and spirit. Providing a simple reminder of where I've been and where I'm going.

Let go of fear. Feel it and breathe it out. Letting go of all the frustration, overwhelming feelings and panic that come with it. Quiet yourself. Love yourself through it. Remind yourself that you are good enough and that right now in this moment in time, is all we have. Awaken your spirit.

As always please remember the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. So that they may one day soon have a safe return to their loved ones.
A special prayer for anyone who is going through a challenging time right now as well. With the holiday seasons upon us it tends to make things harder to deal with.  God Bless.

Bound

"Doubt, of whatever kind, can be ended by action alone." Thomas Carlyle
Breaking the very things that bind us.

What is security based on? This is an important, bottom line question. Security is a basic human need and desired by many. If we look for the object of our search in an area where it cannot be found, we are certain to have frustration and sometimes failure. There is only one security that cannot be taken away, and it resides within ourselves. Security based on belief in our self, the ability to cope and survive and to celebrate life is the only security that lasts. Often times we cloud that belief with doubt and lack of trust.

Doubt is the root of fear. And such doubt causing fears usually come from some thing that you have experienced in life. Which can lead to other forms of doubt, such as trust.  Some causes of trust issues could be from such things as being severely wounded, abused, loss and/or the experience of betrayal.  One could have experienced such situations as far back as childhood or even more recent in life than that. Thus causing our doubt, fears and trust issues as adults that we must learn to face and deal with.

Doubt is destructive thinking and rarely does any good come from it. Please don't confuse doubt with intuitive feelings. God gave us intuition for a reason. Will there be trials and tribulations causing us to doubt? Yes, absolutely! How we choose to deal with it will determine the out come. Trust and love yourself enough to know that you can handle anything thrown at you. Release the doubt. Let go of the negative. Hold on to the positive. Even if you can not find any other positive, outside of..."I will be a stronger, better, more open person because of this experience." That in itself is HUGE!

We all need trials and tribulations in our lives. If for no other reason but to make us stronger. We all know how beautiful coral can be, right?! Well I read this analogy given by an ocean guide to explain a healthy, stronger growth and found it very relate able here. "The coral around the lagoon side is in still water, with no challenge for its survival. It dies early. The coral on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, storms--surges of power. It has to fight for survival everyday of its life. As it is challenged and tested it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It grows strong. And it reproduces. That's the way it is with every living organism."  See folks if you breathe air than you are a living organism. You are not immune to being beaten by the waves of life or winds of change. Both are inevitable. Life is a choice.

Choosing to, you can learn to trust and learn to trust appropriately. You can learn to let go of those fear driven doubts that bind you. Preventing all the good that God has in store for you. You can and will, if open minded enough learn who and what to trust, when. This will give you healthier relationships and a much more fulfilling life. Tame the fear and doubts of your mind, allowing yourself to feel safe, secure and confident. We all have the ability and deserve to be beautiful coral.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day. As they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Un-measurable Success

Why is it that some of us are so afraid at succeeding in what we set out to accomplish? How can we say "I want to ..." and then find ourselves paralyzed in the fear of not measuring up to standards that others place on us? What stops us from being that strong person we both strife and claim to be? Where does this negative image come from? When will we stop the vicious cycle and push ourselves the same way we encourage and push others to keep going, working towards their goals?

For me this comes from a lifetime of being told I wasn't good enough. That I was "stupid" or that I would never amount to anything. I actually had a lady in South Bend, Indiana laugh in my face when I asked her about having a column in her magazine as she said "oh honey I've been in this business a long time and you NEEEEED to have a college education to be able to write."  For someone like me that is always pushing myself to not give up on my dreams and passions that was a huge set back. I thought to myself, "maybe she's right, maybe all those people before her were right also, maybe I don't have what it takes to write and encourage people, maybe I should just be happy as a mom..."  Maybe!!  But the whole time I said all these maybes to myself I continued to hear a small voice inside say, "maybe not right now but don't ever give up on your dreams. Think them in to happening and one day it will be."

We all have different reasons for our paralyzing fears that stops us dead on our journey to achieving our goals. Mine was always the fear of being rejected one more time. The reality is, life is full of rejection. It is how we choose to handle that rejection in the end that determines the outcome of our success. I could of let this woman who laughed in my face cause me to never write again. And all those before her that either told me, showed me or made me feel like I was less than good enough also contribute to my giving up. But as a dear friend of mine use to tell me, I choose to let the anger and disappointment, motivate me instead.

Often times it is easier to lean on others to make our decisions for us. Leaving all the blame of why things did not turn out the way "we" thought they should on someone else's conscience. I mean after all if someone else is making our choices for us then we don't have to risk creating our own mistakes and trying to figure out how to correct it. We just continue to point the finger at someone else for our not succeeding. Forgetting that three more fingers are still pointing back at our self. We need to give ourselves the same love and encouragement we would give another. We need to be kind and gentle to ourselves while on our journey to success. Ever focused on how far we have come not how far we have to go yet. Each of us needs to find our own center so that we can occupy our own place in life. Taking a risk to create our own life path, not worried about the potholes up ahead or how long it will take us to complete our goal. Rather fill our minds with thoughts of "I'll get there if I just keep trying."

"One only fails when they stop trying"  Albert Einstein

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day as they are out there fighting to protect our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home.  God Bless.

Cherished Love

"Happiness is not measured by what you hold in your hand, but by what you hold in your heart." Author Unknown

So often we take people and life for granted. Saying to ourselves, "I'll do that tomorrow" or "I'll make that call to so & so tomorrow". When we don't even know if we will have a "tomorrow".  Or how many times have you said, "oh they know I love them" and not actually tell those people you love them.  How do you feel when someone tells you they love you?  Do you feel like you can take on the world knowing that person loves you?! Do you walk with a little giddy up in your steps?! Do you catch yourself smiling a little more because you know your loved?! Words of love can be very inspirational. They can sometimes encourage us to move in another direction in our lives, set new goals, step outside of our comfort zones to try something unfamiliar or just give us a sense of peace knowing we are loved. Both giving love and being loved can soften the sometimes difficult things we have to deal with in life.

I have a friend who is suffering from cancer that is spreading through out her body and quickly. The doctors say they don't want to do anymore surgery to remove the tumors, because they are growing to fast. And the whole time she is fighting just to stay alive one more day, her concerns are for her children, husband and close friends. She says to me that she is ok with dying and that she is not afraid for the inevitable to happen, she is sad that her kids (grown) and husband have to go through all this. Telling me they have their own lives to live and should not have to be taking care of her. My dear friend is probably the most positive person I have ever met and ALWAYS no matter what she has going on in her life, tries to see the positive outcome in another's problems. I have been very blessed for the last 17yrs to have been part of her life and her of mine. She has made a huge impact on the person I have grown to be. She has taught me how to forgive and how to love by showing me with her actions. She has shown me how to laugh at the painful situations that would make another want to cry. She has shown me how to be a good friend. Her love and friendship will forever be cherished.

We don't have to get caught up in every storm that blows our way, or every pain our loved ones go through. We don't have to right every wrong done to others. All we have to do is "do good and show love" as old man Raymond use to say. No storm or pain is ever really to bleak when we share it with an abundance of love to be cherished by both self and others. Offering our love humbles us and cultivates an inner joy/peace. Knowing we are loved inspires us and invites us to put our best foot forward to do just that; "Pay it forward". Love causes ripples of great and simple acts of goodness in the world and does not cost a thing if you think about it. Each of us can change the course of history today, tomorrow and always just by sharing our love.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of military in your prayers for their safe return home one day, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Weighted Change

"If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet"
Issac B. Singer

Have you ever felt like everything was just piling up on your shoulders, to the point of becoming somewhat overwhelming at times? Feeling like it was never going to end. Or asking yourself "what have I done to deserve all this? Or telling yourself "your strong enough to handle this, suck it up". When the truth of the matter is we did nothing to provoke these things from happening. Life happens! And yes we have weak moments. Not to be confused with us being weak people. But again, life happens! Our attitude and perspective can make life more positive and enjoyable.

Taking a good honest look at ourselves and our behavior, while showing ourselves compassion, is a VERY powerful combination. We have the opportunity to change things we don't like for the better and not demand perfection from ourselves or others. But sometimes we are to quick to snap at a decision over a situation that is often times caused from fear of looking inadequate or stupid. When what we fail to realize is that without taking the time to pause and think things through; or as I have been taught, take a 24hr soak on the matter, it's in those moments that we end up looking like what we feared. Pause for a moment before reacting and remind yourself that an impulsive reaction NEVER benefits us and then act accordingly.

We are not always in control of situations that weigh us down and rest on our shoulders (or so it feels), we are however in full control over how we handle it. In order to change the situations in our lives we need to change our thinking. Instead of looking at things like "well here we go again" or "bad things always seem to happen to me", look at is an opportunity to grow. Gods little way of showing us that we can change our old habits of negative thinking and that we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. This does not mean that you are in denial of the situation your going through it just means you are allowing yourself to think and act differently. Giving yourself the opportunity to grow and have a healthier way of thinking.

It is so comforting to know that we can't change anyone but ourselves, and that is all we need to know in this moment in time. Ever reminding ourselves that every time we change, we grow better. And when we grow into better human beings it causes a ripple effect in all directions of our lives. Thus making us better, more productive people. Change does not have to be a negative thing. Life will go on and situations will continue to arise, we have the power and choice to handle things differently. Get out from under the heaviness of the situation,change your thinking and leave the weights in the gym where they belong. haha

Love yourself a little more, be kinder to yourself as you would another. Be the change you want to see in the world folks. We ALL have it in us no matter what life throws our way.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers, so that they may have a safe return home soon as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home.  God Bless

Path of growth and change...

"Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life"  Herbert Otto

I've had ups and I've had downs. I've had it all and I've had nothing. But I NEVER gave up on believing that my day would come. This took me to believe on the inside what I felt and believed on the outside. Which meant (for me) to walk head strong through fear and loneliness. Never giving up on what I really wanted in life. I had to be willing to walk through some fear, reminding myself the whole time that I was worthy and deserving of what I wanted. Now this is not to say that I did not have a lot of disappointments along the way. But I refused to believe that I could not have what I wanted in life. The same happiness and joy that so many around me already have. It is human to be disappointed when we don't get what we want. And it is ok to feel that disappointment for a moment, but not dwell on it. It is when we dwell on the disappointment that we forget to trust that God has something different in store for us, something way better than what we could ever imagine. When we worry about future wants and past disappointments, we don't leave room in ourselves for the present. And often times will miss out on what is right in front of us.

Good things come to those who wait and NEVER give up hope. Having hope makes every day easier and more gentle. In time we will understand that hope makes it possible for us to expect more positive outcomes to our problems. It's so often true that what we expect is just what we get. If you expect nothing than you get nothing. If you partake on this journey, experimenting with your life, taking risks and chances, stepping outside of your comfort zone than good things are sure to happen for you. Involvement is a prerequisite if we are to grow. When we look toward the day with anticipation, we are open to all the possibilities for action. Open to new growth and good things in our lives. Looking on the bright side of life can't make our struggles worse! A very dear friend that has since passed use to say "today I choose to walk on the sunny side of the street" now I know what he meant by that. Idly observing life from the sidelines guarantees no development beyond our present level. Leaving us in the shade.

Our experiences, past and present, are not coincidental. There is no such thing as coincidence. All things happen for a reason. Both good and bad. We need to remind ourselves that no experience will attract us beyond what we are capable of handling. If God brings you to it, he'll bring you through it. Reflecting on the past reveals that indeed we do find the strength and the ability to cope with whatever experience ripples our calm. Validate your life experience to unblock what's ahead. Feel the pain and move past it. We continue to learn and grow with each life experience. You'll soon discover that the lessons we learn are not the things we expected. We learn how to learn. We become more accepting and open to life being a process with no shortcuts to the truth. We learn to engage in the process and accept that there usually is no right or wrong answer. When we become willing to be honest, open and humble then we will learn trust and will surely make progress in our journey of life. We MUST make life happen, not let life happen to us. This is not a dress rehearsal folks. We only get one shot at this life. Make the most of it. Be the victor not the victim!!

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of military in your prayers so that they may one day have a safe return home as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS for us. God bless.

Carpe Diem

"Happiness is not measured by what you hold in your hand but by what you hold in your heart." author unknown

How do you measure happiness?!  Is it receiving a special gift? Is it getting the job you desired? Is it simply playing in the rain with a little one? Or could it be just having a sense of peace within; that all is right in your world at this moment in time. If we allow ourselves to look deeper than materialistic things we will see that the happiness we so desire is found in the little events happening all around us each day. We must slow down to pay attention or we will miss the little whispers of such events. The question is, will we be still and quiet long enough to enjoy it?
Happiness is not always measured in materialistic things. Sometimes its just the simple pleasure of having peace of mind. There can be happiness in the way the sun falls through the trees or shines on your face. There can be happiness in the way a child shows their excitement to see you. There can be happiness in the way sand feels between your toes walking on a beach barefoot. Happiness can be found in precious memories of an event or time spent with a loved one. No matter how you measure happiness know that for each of us our true happiness is measured differently.
What we should not do is tie our happiness to what others do/say or we will always be in their control. What a bleak existence that would be!! Now, I'm not talking about when in a relationship how that person makes you feel. That is a natural response. But in the end we alone are ultimately responsible for our own happiness. If we are always relying on others to make us happy then we need to look deep inside to find what blocks us from accomplishing our own happiness. Looking for what is stopping us from defining who we are or what makes us happy without another's input and changing our journey. Life is not a dress rehearsal we only get one shot at it. Make the most of who you are and who God intended for you to be. Misery is not an option folks! When we die I believe God will ask us "did you enjoy everything I gave you, both good and bad?" I want to be able to say yes to both. Because without bad we would know no good & vise versa.
The key to success is to have a willingness to chase the very happiness we desire with courage and strength. Carpe diem (seize the moment)!!
As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of military in your prayers for a safe return  one day soon as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS her at home. God Bless.

Be the change you want to see in the world

"To be nobody but yourself in a world that is doing its best day and night into making you like everybody else, is to fight the hardest battle there is and never stop fighting."  Poet E.E.Cummings


As adults, we are suppose to discover who we really are and do our best to grow into that person. Sometimes life situations or circumstances prevent us from doing that. For some, we are taught that what we think or feel does not matter to the rest of the world. Causing us to be stagnate in life, stuffing our emotions and afraid to discover our true self.  It is when we are able to take a stand, find courage, love and support on our journey that we then blossom into the person we are meant to be in this life. We find our value and self worth, not because others acceptance, but because we finally came to believe. Dr Suess once wrote "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." It takes courage to speak your mind, trust to act on your own intuition and strength to go against the grain of what everyone else is thinking or doing. The end result will be true happiness because you were true to yourself rather than be someone else.

Sometimes we want to be someone else, anyone but who we are. We want to be someone who feels more free and at peace internally. We want to be self sufficient. We want to be free of pain and loneliness. Whether we get what we want or not, what we need is to accept and love ourselves just the way God made us. When we feel lonely, it helps to remember that God is still present in our lives. It does not matter how you define God or if you do at all, just be at peace knowing there is a higher power present in our ever changing life as we transform. For me, it is looking at the beauties of this world and knowing that something or someone more powerful than myself created all this, just as you were created. I choose to believe in a higher power I call God. Just as the cycle of life in the trees and plants, remember that everything changes and that life and beauty are still present if we look for it.

Endings are painful and very necessary in life. Endings give us a chance to begin again. Often times when we are going through an ending we can not see the light at the end of the tunnel or do we feel that it is for our best interest. All things happen for a reason. Good or bad. Believe that!! We may not want to see our new beginnings that lie ahead when we are in the midst of our ending, but we can trust  that they are there waiting for us when we are ready to move on. Just as the leaves fall and flowers die , such is life. And the only thing constant in this ever changing world is change itself my friends. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be that caterpillar that transforms and starts anew. Believe that you are enough!!!

As always please keep all men and woman of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day soon, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. Also remember take a minute to reflect on their ultimate sacrifice this holiday weekend as you enjoy family and friends. God Bless.

Inside Out

Have you ever struggled with inner peace? Trying to make the inside match the outside? Justifying your behavior because of another's actions? Feeling an overwhelming sense of chaos because things you thought you had control over, you realized you had no control to begin with? I know I do. The first step is to realize that the only thing we have control over is ourselves & our reaction to situations. We can only control the controllable's in our lives. Often times it is our reaction that gets us into the feeling of chaos. As if we thought we could really do something about the situation to begin with. That's not ego driven now is it?! Bottom line is I'm not in control, God is!
We are not responsible for what another person does or does not do. What we are responsible in fact for is our expectation we set upon other's. Reminds me of the pigeon in the park. As you sit on the bench  in the park why would you expect the pigeon to not do what pigeons do?!  HHHMMM That would be a false expectation on the pigeon. Just as people! People are human beings & do what human beings do. Such is life. I have to remind myself of this all the time. Being in the dating world has opened my eyes to this in a big way. I have to realize that I set these expectations on people that maybe some cannot attain or rise up to meet. Is that fair? Would I appreciate someone setting something unattainable for me? Then why would I do it to another?! Goes back to that do unto others as you would have done unto you verse. Mistakes are what shapes us into who we are. Let go & learn from them. For regret is a waste of time & eats at our inner peace. Making it ever so much harder to attain.
In order for our inside to match the outside we must fix more than just the out. The physical appearance hides nothing, only camouflages whats really going on inside. And for some of us this is what we were taught to do. We must learn to let go of betrayal, guilt, anger, anxiety & lack of trust; these are all toxic emotions holding us back. Causing self destruction or reasons to stay "stuck". Also known as EXCUSES. Say good bye to that way of thinking to make room for healthy, positive thoughts. Allow yourself to be vulnerable to new things. Being vulnerable can be very valuable. And thus very healthy.
We are all a work in progress & must remind ourselves that if God brings us to it, he will bring us through it. Having inner peace comes from taking all these steps. Sometimes slowly & often times baby steps. But steps non the less. It is when we give up that we then fail at finding true inner peace & thus becoming whole. Being whole means the inside and the outside will match. Don't let the inner voice telling you "you can't",win. Instead tell it "Watch me"! Every ending brings a new beginning. Life is a journey! Live your life as an experiment & enjoy your journey. We only get one chance at it folks.
As always please keep all men & woman of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day soon. As they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Whispers of the Heart

God blessed us with a gut intuition for a reason. Or little whispers of knowledge. We don't know how or why, we just know we should pay attention to them. So far every time I have listened to mine I have been dead on. Thank God today I know how to pay attention to those little whispers or some times gut kicks.
I once read somewhere to make sure it's intuition not insecurity. Sometimes our insecurities will cause us to look for things that are not really there rather our own fears causing us to confuse the two. And often times can be caused because we are lacking in the trust department. Myself personally I think if there are trust issues in a relationship than we need to address those quickly. I recently went through a situation where I was slightly confused over these very things. Was it because I don't trust or because my gut was kicking the hell out of me? So I did a self check and then sat back and waited. Low and behold it was a combination of both and the truth showed its ugly self. My intuition was dead on with my trust issues and this helped me make an informed and correct decision. There was no denying what was right in front of me. Now, I could of sat back and said "oh poor me, here we go again" and allowed myself to crawl in to a pity party but I choose to rise above it. Thanking God for giving me the wisdom to know the difference and learn from another life lesson. A dear friend of mine said to me "don't give up sweetie, keep on keeping on. You'll get a winner". I thank god that I have the strength and confidence today to know that I WILL be just fine in life and able to do just that, keep on keeping on.
We all have the ability to overcome situations in life if we lean in and press on. Knowing that we are already equipped with the very strength we need to do that very thing. Nothing happens out of coincidence, all things happen for a reason. Good, bad and indifferent. It is how we either embrace or fight the situation that determines how we deal with other life lessons thrown our way. I choose the sunny side of the street today.
"The human heart knows things that the eyes don't see and feels things that the mind cannot understand"  author unknown
As always please keep all men and woman of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home.  God Bless

People come and People go

People come and go in our lives. That's part of life. The important thing is that we don't loose who we are in the process. Don't let things get you down for long. Feel it, hold your head up high, dust yourself off & move along. There are good people still in the world & when the time is right, they will reveal themselves to you.

They say that it is when we are in turmoil that we learn just how strong we are & what we are capable of overcoming. I believe that. Being in the dating world these days and trying to let my guard down just to be disappointed time and time again starts to wear on a person. I just keep reminding myself that it may not be me rather something the other person is going through. I refuse to give up. I'm stronger than the little waves of life. I have over come so much more in life & cannot let something so little hold me under. I try to share my experience, strength and hope with others to help encourage them to never allow life to hold them down. Rather help to hold them up along the way. Life really is a "WE" thing, not a "ME" thing.

Never give up, Never surrender!!!

As always please keep all the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers so that they may one day have a safe return home while they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home.

Everything to gain

"The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them"   Ernest Hemingway

That is a tricky one for me. How many times have you said "oh I trust you" and in the back of your head your thinking "can I really?".  For me trust is a hard thing to accept. This comes from many heartbreaks and let downs by several people in my life. I continue to try with trusting people until they let me down and this is a constant struggle for me. But I refuse to give up. I'm not perfect and I'm sure there have been times when I have broken someones trust as well. While it was not intentional or life shattering, it was broken none the less. It's been said; trust is like a crumpled piece of paper. Once straightened out its still crumpled. Rebuilding trust takes time and mutual forgiveness in order to rebuild the trust that has been broken. Forgiveness between all parties involved is required. Just like any repairs, this will take time and patience. 

I believe that nothing happens out of God's plan for us and that all things happen for a reason. We may not like or understand why when we are in the midst of things, but I promise there is ALWAYS a reason for the life lessons we go through. I call those growing pains. Change is sometimes uncomfortable and for some of us very scary. It is when we resist change that we imprison ourselves and hide from God's invitation to grow. Only when we are willing to experience these lessons with trust and faith, and see them as blessings not curses, will we then be able to wholeheartedly join in the stream of life and break free from the chains that bind us. 

Lack of trust and holding on to fear is just as crippling to ourselves as is the act of what caused the mistrust to begin with. Can't is not an option either. We need to realize, that I can't is just another way of saying I fear. If we were to remove fear from the equation, think of all we can accomplish. A great example is getting involved in a new relationship. This requires a lot of trust in the beginning. We are getting to know someone new and really have no choice but to trust that person until they show us other wise. For me, I tend to go into it just waiting for that person to show me that no one is worthy of trust and that it's a matter of time before they hurt me. Because that is what always seems to happen when I allow my guard down. Or so it seems. I have labeled that recently as "self sabotage". What an aahh haa moment that was for me!! I mean; me of all people trying to be the best I can and trying to not compare and trying to be this strong person that I practice to be everyday, having this character defect of self sabotage.  WOW that one hit me hard and made me realize I have a lot of work to do yet. And that's ok. See folks we are all human and we are going to make mistakes in life. It is when you stop trying that you fail and fear has won. 

We can all change our response from I can't to I'll try.  We can all take the first step away from fear and push through the uncomfortable of the unknown towards trying something new. There are no guarantee's that it will all work out in our favor, but if we don't at least try how will we ever know. How will we ever get to see all that God has in store for us?! How will we ever grow in to better, stronger people if we don't at least try?! We owe to ourselves that much at least. The only obstacles in our way are the ones we put there to protect us from the things we fear. So get out of your way and watch as things start to happen in your favor.

As always please keep all men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers, so that they may one day be home safe with their loved ones as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home.  Please also keep all effected by the bombings in Boston in your prayers for strength and guidance to get through this time of tragedy. 

 

Head held high...

People said I couldn't, I showed them I could. People said you won't, I showed them I will. People said you can't, I showed them I could!!! NEVER GIVE UP NEVER SURRENDER.

Martina Mcbride "Anyway"

http://youtu.be/QZjTBW-raGw

Remember to do it anyway. Even if your scared of the unknown or how it will turn out.
Do it anyway!!!

Do it anyway...

"Change happens when the fear of where your going, is less then the pain of where your at."  author unknown

To step outside of ones box takes a great amount of courage. To allow yourself to think and feel takes courage. Sometimes allowing yourself to trust that someone really does and can care deeply for you also takes courage. For some, to just wake up and get out of bed everyday takes courage. To trust in your own abilities is another way we practice courage. See folks there are a ton of different things in life that we don't always view as taking or practicing the act of courage. For some of us we have stuffed the fear of allowing these simple things in our lives that we have built a wall around our hearts and minds. Holding us back from all the good that God has in store for our lives. We may not know God's purpose, but we may understand better if we learn to love ourselves the way we are and trust that God has given us unimaginable amounts of courage and strength to overcome all the fear we hold.   I heard on a show tonight that we must allow ourselves to validate our life experiences to unblock all the good that lies ahead for us. Feel,deal and heal is what the speaker said. I found this very profound  and eye opening. You know they say you can hear things a hundred times and sometimes its not until 101 that you actually hear it. And for me tonight I heard it. I have to feel what it is that blocks my courage keeping me stuck on stupid and full of excuses. I have to then find a way to deal with the very thing blocking me and figure out what I can do to change it before I can heal from it. I know better than anyone what keeps me blocked and fear is ALWAYS the reason behind it. I have to remember that my present and future are not my past. My past only defines me if I allow it to!! I try to be strong for those around me and I try to be the best I can. But am I really allowing myself to be the best if I'm allowing fear to run my life and choices that I make? Am I really showing my daughter what true strength and courage is by allowing myself to stuff and hide behind a wall? I don't think so.
Today we can be brave and face what each day brings with courage and the knowledge that we are doing the right thing for ourselves. Today I believe that the best is yet to come as long as I refuse to allow myself to feel defeated by life experience, tragedy and tribulations. With confidence and willingness, we hold ourselves responsible for our lives. We alone are responsible for the choices we do or do not make in life. Yes life happens and sometimes it takes us a minute to get where we want to be. It has been said that a person only fails when they stop trying. Well folks I REFUSE to give up and be defeated. As I close I would like you to listen to a song by Martina McBride and really try to hear what she is saying. "Do it anyway"
As always please keep all the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home soon, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Precious little gifts

Often times this image is the out come of a break up of our relationships. Whether it be divorce or relationship of another kind. The children are left feeling like they had to of done something to cause this or they are pushed to the back and left to figure things out on their own; because the adults are to busy trying to figure out whats next. I think that often times we forget how much our children watch and listen when we don't think they are paying attention. They are like little sponges soaking it all up. I remember being a little girl, maybe 7yrs old and laying on the landing of our stairs and listening to all the fights my parents had all the time. And this went on for 3yrs until they finally made the decision to get a divorce. The divorce wasn't any prettier, the fighting never stopped. I being the oldest was always put in the middle and forced to grow up much faster than any 10yr old should have to. The positive in this negative is that I know today what I won't do in front of my daughter and it has made me a stronger, better person for having gone through that.
Sometimes when the parents move on they get with someone that thinks its ok to fight in front of the children or do inappropriate things with the children present. And for whatever reason the parent chooses to stay in this unhealthy situation, failing to understand the long term effect that will have on their children. Leading to possible out comes such as; hanging out with the wrong crowd, grades slipping, getting in trouble with the law, lack of respect for adults, becoming selfish individuals etc etc etc.  Our children act out as a way to get our attention and when they are ignored can become very unruly.
Our children need to be reassured while going through this trying time how much you love them. How their opinion of what you are all going through matters as well as the adults. They need to be told that none of the happenings has anything to do with them and that neither parent loves them any less. Children need to know that you will be there to listen and give them comfort and support with a healthy balance. Not allowing them to manipulate the situation and realizing that every action has a consequence. This can go on for several years after the separation, the important thing is to always be there for them, helping to guide their choices.
I personally think that by doing this you are not only building a healthy relationship with your children, but showing them that they matter and they will take that into the world in future relationships with people as a whole. Giving them great self esteem and strength to not be afraid to ask for their wants and needs to be met. Because they know and not question how much they matter.
Please remember that our children are precious little gifts given to us by god, not to be taken for granted or neglected. There are people who long to be parents and for different reasons are denied that gift. Which breaks my heart as I can not imagine my life without my beautiful little girl!!
As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of military in your prayers for a safe return home to their loved ones as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Stronger

                        No regrets. Never settle. Never quit!!
                                         God Bless

Something old, new, borrowed and blue...

This is more than just a saying for a wedding or new beginning. For me this represents the story of our lives. The old hurts of the past, new friendships or loves, borrowed time here on earth and being blue or troubled of times we all experience. Such is life. It is our choice how we choose to deal with all of this. Whether good or bad all actions have a consequence.
Mistakes are what make us who we are today. I like to refer to those as character builders. It only becomes a problem when we don't learn from those very mistakes that cause us anguish. For me in the past it was always safer to not let people in for fear of getting hurt. By both friend or lover. When the reality of this thinking is, I was only hurting myself by not allowing for life lessons to help shape me and build my character of the woman I am meant to be. The woman I am growing in to. Strong, confident and emotionally available. There comes a time in our lives when we have to let go of the old hurts, pain and fear caused to us by another and allow for the new to enter. If your always looking to the future with fear from the past, you'll miss all the good stuff going on in the right here and now. Find balance. Move forward. Live life to the fullest.   "Live, Love, Laugh"
"People are like pigeons. They do what they do and you cant prevent it." I once read that and originally thought what are they talking about? Then it dawned on me. If you sat on a park bench and a pigeon shits on you, what are you going to do about it? Nothing!! There was nothing you could of done to prevent that from happening. Often times people do what they do and there is nothing you can do to prevent that very thing from happening to you either. A healthy relationship encourages the seeking of a wider mental and spiritual understanding; it is never threatened. Not be envious of one another, rather offer encouragement, love and support. The word relationship means any person or persons connecting, not necessarily as lovers. To be spiritual means the quality or state of being. Our spiritual life is on the same plane as everyday relationships. It's not just something within our mind or feelings. It's growth depends on the way we relate to each other as intimate partners. Intimate not being of sex but sharing open and honest communication with another. Love and spirituality must be learned, and learned again and again; there is no end to it. All we can do is our part by learning each day to love the best we can. It can be frightening to trust another person enough to take risks and let go of the outcome. But love is a risk that's worth it.  Without risks there is no hope and without hope there is no journey. Having hope makes every day easier and more gentle.
We are all on borrowed time. There are no dress rehearsals in life. Someone once said to live life as if we had a camera strapped to us and taping everything we did only to send it immediately out into the world. Is this something you would be proud of and how you were living?  I know I would want a do over every now and again. "There is no short cut to life. To the end of our days, life is a lesson imperfectly learned." Harrison E. Salisbury
Without the ups and downs of life we cannot learn how to appreciate the good and bad. I whole heartedly believe when we die God will ask us 1 question. "Did you enjoy everything I gave you both good and bad?" We had better be able to answer yes to both parts of that because without one we cannot know the other. Life is a journey not a destination. We continue to grow, but the lessons we learn are not the things we expected. We grieve the lateness of our learning, and then we go on to learn more. We essentially learn how to learn. We become more accepting of life and learn how to engage and accept that there is no right or wrong answer at the end of our search.
Find strength in your moments of weakness. It is when we are challenged in life that we find our true character and may even surprise ourselves with the strength we are able to muster up. Never Give up Never surrender!!
As always please keep the men and woman of all military branches in your prayers for a safe return home as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Longing...

                                   Longing for Pure Love
                                   Longing for Genuine Friendships
                                   Longing for Courage
                                   Longing for Understanding
                                   Longing for Peace

Without a longing for something, there is no hope. Without hope there is only fear and regrets.
Everyday is a chance for a new experience if you choose. Today is too late to change yesterday's disappointments. If you make only one resolution this year, let it be to live boldly. You control this moment. Live in the now. Embrace your beauty. Discover passion both new and old.
Carpe Diem my friends!! Seize the day.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless

Feel it, Live it, Love it..

"I will not belittle myself or others for mistakes made. There is no gain to be made dwelling on an error. I will choose to cast off anger and disappointment"     author unknown

Anger, disappointments and mistakes are all part of life. Often causing many tears and moments of weakness or so it feels. Feel it, don't stuff it!! Value yourself enough to know you just as anyone else has that right. God will continue to put us through tests in life and sometimes the same ones repeatedly until we learn what he is trying to teach us. Most of the time it is strength driven. Showing us just how strong we really are. Crying along the way is ok despite what we may have been taught early on. I for one was taught if I was crying I better have a damn good reason for it or I was in deep shit. I remember being roughly 6/7yrs old and introduced to the song "Don't cry out loud" by Melissa Manchester. Here is a verse of that song and what I was taught very young: "Don't cry out loud just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings, fly high and proud and if you should fall, remember you almost had it all..." See I was taught not to count on people and never let them see your pain. And have had many heartaches along the way because of what I was taught as a child. Today I know that I need people to see my pain as well as my joys. A lot of little boys are taught that real men don't cry that it is a sign of weakness. When just the opposite is true. Real men do cry and are not afraid to let you see that. They are human beings just like woman and have some of the same pains and joys woman have. I personally think its very touching to see a man cry genuine real tears. Just means he has a heart!
It's been said that crying is cleansing of the soul. There are many different reasons that people cry. Could be because of a loss (many forms), a disappointment, frustration, happiness, pain, anger and even manipulation. Whatever reason you cry, know that crying allows us to be vulnerable and open for growth and change to take place in our lives; if we let it. We are all ultimately responsible for our feelings, actions and reactions. Yes, some one can cause the pain but we have the choice of how long we hold on to it and how we react to the pain caused us. You alone are also responsible for how long you stay down. No one chooses that but us. Find strength and courage to carry on and push through. Feel it, deal with it and keep trucking through life. Find peace with the reason for your tears and resolution will come to be more clear.
I love the saying "stay forever green"; meaning always remain willing to learn and grow. Just because we get older doesn't mean we have nothing more to learn about living life on life's terms. Don't be so naive and close minded to think you have nothing else to learn. You will be the one to lose in the end. I promise!!  Please remember if you get nothing else out of this piece but this; remember we are all so much bigger and stronger than our trials and tribulations. Just as our skin sheds to allow stronger new skin to grow; so does your problems. Feel it, live it and love it.
As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return while they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Flooded

As you take in the beauty of this picture let the depth of it's meaning soak in for a moment. What you see is yours and yours alone. We all view things differently such as this picture. For me it means sadness, loss, strength and beauty. This picture and I'm quoting someone very close to me here represents a "flood of emotions".  Here is what I see. When I look into the depth of this persons eyes I see sadness, down to the tree that represents a loss he/she may have experienced causing the sadness. The crow is more times than not viewed as a bad omen, caused by deception. However; when you google the symbolic meaning of a crow you will see that it actually represents survival. A crow has the ability to adapt in any environment and is sometimes viewed as meaning spiritual strength. Water to me represents the ups and downs such as a wave of life's happenings. And then the shell, representing the protective cover often placed around ones heart as to not get hurt. And lastly the mini wave crashing on the shore for a soothing feeling that this to shall pass. Allowing us to feel strength that we will be fine if we just let go, going with the flow and not fight the currents of life. The Indians believed that our creator put everything on this earth to live together and be used respectfully. Maybe this is why I have such a connection to our earthly things in relation to life and the people in it.


Just as this picture can have different meanings to different people so do our words. People don't realize the depth of words spoken and how they can affect us in different ways. And often times can cause pain, sadness and even great joy. I once read somewhere "chew on your words before you spit them out", meaning think before you speak. Something I try to work on regularly. Tone has a lot to do with what we say more so than what we actually say folks. I have had physical abuse and I have had verbal abuse in my life and bruises go away but words never do!! Trust me when I tell you this. There are things in my life to this day I struggle with because of unkind words that had been spoke to me in the past. I am teaching myself everyday that I deserve to be loved and respected. How do you feel when someone says "I love you?" Do you feel a rush of warmth through your body? Do smiles come more easily knowing you are loved? Do you question whether that person meant it or not? Lets face it "I love you" is one of many words that is so carelessly thrown around in our world. Words of love can be very inspirational to the person receiving them. It can bring out the best in us, encourage us to move in a new direction, set new goals, step outside of our box and attempt to walk into something unfamiliar. Knowing that you are genuinely loved can soften the hard edges that life's experiences have caused. We don't have to get caught up in every storm that blows our way. We don't have to live the pain of every person that crosses our path and said unkind words to us. We don't have to become what another tells us we are with these unkind words. We all have the ability to comfort and heal by recognizing as the Indians did that our creator meant for us to dwell on this earth to live together and be respectful. All we have to do is live life on life's terms, go with the flow and show another respect they are due so that we can enjoy the ebbs and flows of life as peaceful as possible.
                                "Be the change you want to see in the world"

As always remember the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

You do matter

Recently I had an AH HA moment when having a life conversation with a dear friend of mine. We were talking about how a relationship is a want not a need. In the midst of the conversation I said, "You know I say that so much I wonder who I'm trying to convince. The person I'm saying it to or myself." That was a HUGE moment for me. You see I think the reason I kept telling myself this is because I always felt that to need someone is a sign of weakness or a way to protect myself of what I have absolutely no control over. Heartache and disappointment. When all of that is part of life and part of helping to develop us into the people we ultimately become. Many of us whether we are aware of it or not, create much of the unhappiness we experience. The very disappointments we are afraid of are a result of our own negative or limited thoughts about ourselves and the world we live in. We should look at the disappointments as a challenge to reveal what we are so afraid of that limits our thinking and ability to reach our full potential. There is a big difference between being self centered, selfish or finding our self worth. What is it that holds us back from seeing our own self worth? For me, it has been instilled in me from a very early age that what I thought or felt did not matter to others. When now I know that if you don't show or tell someone what you want or need by showing them you value yourself than why should anyone see you as valuable?! Trust me folks this is not easy and often times can feel very selfish and scary to do. But today I'm learning how to soften my walls that I think are protecting me when in fact they are preventing me from having all that I deserve. Always remember that allowing yourself to be vulnerable can be quite valuable! Being in the dating world I have to practice this all the time so that I don't settle for less than what my daughter or I deserve. And that is to be treated like we matter with self worth, dignity and respect.  Reminds me of this guy I went out with and a conversation we had. I thanked him for being so kind and how I was not use to someone doing nice things for me and his response was "well if someone bringing you flowers, wine and saying nice things to you is something your not use to, than maybe you should set your bar a little higher." Got me thinking; not so much about what he had brought me or done but what he had said. Maybe I should value myself more and expect nice things to be done for me on a regular basis. Not because I expect them but because I deserve them. Things did not work out for us and at first I thought I must of done something wrong when in fact I did nothing wrong he just wanted something other than I had to offer. And that's ok. See what he gave me was something of great value that I will take with me on my journey thru life and learning how to live it. For that I am forever grateful. He taught me and even told me that I was a great person and I should not let anyone cause me to change who I am or what I want out of life nor should I feel like I have to change. He taught me the true meaning of having self worth and valuing myself.
We put such great value on so many materialistic things in life such as housing, clothing, food or a trip we maybe want to take. And in the end none of that matters. So why do we struggle to put value on the very thing that we can take with us and that is the feeling of self worth/value?!  The word need to me up until recently has always felt like a bad thing, when in fact it's not a bad thing at all. Especially when we think about the need to value ourselves so that we may teach others how to treat us. Hear the lesson my friend has taught me and expect it because you deserve it not because you feel entitled! Be who you are and not what the world thinks you should be. Such a freeing feeling.
As always please continue to keep the men and woman of all branches of military in your prayers for a safe return home to their loved ones, as they are out protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. And for those that may have their own struggles they are going thru in life, share your strength with them so that they may overcome. God Bless.

The Dash

The Dash Poem by Linda Ellis


I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend.

He referred to the dates on her tombstone

From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth

And spoke of the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all

... Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time

That she spent alive on earth

And now only those who loved her

Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,

The cars, the house, the cash,

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;

Are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough

To consider what’s true and real

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect

And more often wear a smile,

Remembering that this special dash

Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read

With your life’s actions to rehash

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent your dash?

Share a Smile

"A smile costs nothing, but gives so much. It enriches those who give it. It takes but a moment, but the memory lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor, but that he cannot be made richer by it. A smile creates happiness in the home, promotes good will in our school and is the cornerstone of friendship. It can perk up the wary, bring cheer to the discouraged, bring sunshine to the sad, and is nature's best antidote for trouble. Yet it cannot be bought, borrowed or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. When people are too tired to give you a smile, give them one of yours. No one needs to smile so much as he who has none to give."

Author Unknown

Soldier On

As I had a nice long cry in the shower this morning thinking about this quote I knew I had to post about.  STRENGTH!!!  Strength to push through a love you cant have even if you know it would be an amazing love story. Strength to do one more push up when your arms are like jello. Strength to keep chasing a dream based on your god given talent. Strength to take one more chemo treatment when your body is screaming "I cant do this anymore". Strength to be strong for a loved one who is struggling.  This quote is 100% accurate in we don't know our own strength until we are faced with the very thing that challenges it,whatever that may be.
For me being a single mother and wanting to be the best mother one can be takes strength as well. When I just want lay down and give up I hear a little voice say "mommy can I have..." and I know giving up is not an option. I have to push through whatever is troubling me because this little person did not ask for a part time mother. It is my job to show her how to live with strength and perseverance.  NEVER GIVE UP NEVER SURRENDER!
Pushing through a love you can not have is Gods way of whispering in your ear "not yet my child". And really if you think about it love is all around us in our family and friends so we should get off the pity pot and tell ourselves "you are loved look around you". Never settle for anything less than the true romance that we all deserve. I believe that god places dreams on our hearts and sends us constant reminders of what we are to be focused on and never give up until we achieve the dream with the talent he gave us.
Talk about true strength and perseverance, go through chemo treatment for a cancer that is eating you alive from the inside out. And why does this have to happen to good positive people? Why do the ugly people in the world get a free pass in life? I don't have an answer for that one. What I do know is God has a master plan for all of us and it is in these "why?" moments that we must hang on to the strength he has given each and everyone of us. Along with knowing he has our back if we allow him to.
Bottom line folks is we all have a choice to lay down and give up or dig deep within ourselves and find this thing called strength. We must soldier on through all that life throws our way. You only fail when you stop trying!!!
As always please remember all the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home soon as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here back home. Also please continue to pray for all those suffering with something in their lives, whether it be an illness or heartbreak etc.

Just for Today...

"The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have."
                                                          Author Unknown

How many times have we done something & said to ourselves, "oh well could of, should of, would of." to make an excuse for not trying hard enough or go after what we really want in life. As if this response will some how make the reality of not getting what we wanted less of a regret. Easing our guilt for not pushing ourselves harder or letting go of the fear that may hold us back. Control the negative thoughts that try to occupy space in your head & change your perspective on things. Relax and move with the flow of life letting go of the fear that controls change or lack of. Life is about lessons not regrets. Sometimes more than one person should have to endure in a lifetime but a lesson non the less. The key is not to give up or regret what we have or have not done, not to sink in the black hole called pity feeling sorry for ourselves. Rather learn how to do things differently. Changing what you can and using your energy wisely not wasting it on worry or complaints. If we don't go through these life lessons then we can not & will not be able to grow into stronger more responsible individuals. Life is to short to regret doing things differently or even attempting them at all. There is a difference in wanting to of handled things differently then there is in having a regret over how you handled something, please don't confuse the two. Be gentle on yourself as you would another realizing that it's ok to make a mistake on your journey. Be open and honest with yourself along the way treating others with respect, compassion and dignity. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Become the change you want to see in the world, the person you would want to spend the rest of your life with and/or the person you would want your children to be influenced by.
"Live, Love, Laugh" is one of my  all time favorite sayings and scattered through out my home to remind me to just enjoy life. ALL OF IT!!! Live much, Laugh often, Love more these are simple things that we can all do on a daily basis to help avoid regret along the way. Remember folks none of us are promised tomorrow, we don't get a dress rehearsal, live as if today is your last. Be a participant in life don't stand on the side lines as an observer. Stand up for yourself not letting anyone or anything hold you back from what you want in life. Be who you are in this moment in time just for today! No Regrets!
As always remember the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home soon as they are off protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home.

The Leaning Tree

I love how parallel a persons life is to the tree that comes in different sizes, weathered by age and full of notches taken out of its bark because of situations. If you notice it is not afraid to lean on something to help hold itself up just to survive. So then why are we?! Why is it so hard for some of us to reach out and lean on others to help hold them up? Why is it so hard to trust that what we lean on will not let us fall? Why is it so hard to imagine for a moment that the notches we have are life lessons that we may share with another? For me its because I have been burned on different degrees so badly and so often that I'm afraid to lean on others. Seems that when I allow my guard to come down it happens again. Causing me to doubt some of my judgement and question why I continuously put myself out there. Not realizing that what I may be leaning on is not strong enough to hold me up at that moment in time. I realize that I need to push through the fear to get to the other side and I try to take baby steps one day at a time to accomplish that. I have been able to find a couple of people to lean on and am slowly allowing myself to trust they wont let me fall. That my friends is why I continue to push.
I really do believe that there is no such thing as coincidence and that all things happen for a reason. Good or bad. So that we may be able to share our "notches" with others and show them by example how we over came particular life lessons and to be someones leaning post, giving them strength to grow stronger and bigger each day. Just as the tree that leans. While we may all come in different sizes and weathered differently due to our experiences we all have something to learn or share with another. See folks no matter how weathered you are or are not we are forever learning how to do this thing called living life on life's terms. And yes just as the nasty sometimes slippery moss that grows on the leaning tree we will run in to those people that will be just as nasty and slippery. The key is to NEVER GIVE UP, rather continue pushing up or leaning on! I am a work in progress and continue to learn and grow by being open to sharing and receiving. Life is to short to keep our experience, strength and hope to ourselves. I dare you to join me in being someones leaning post, helping them to grow bigger and stronger so they may be able to stand on their own. Step outside of your comfort zone. I promise the lesson you will receive is much bigger then the one you share. I know, I've been there!!
As always please keep all men and woman of the military in your prayers for a safe return home as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home.

Self

Note to self:

Self you are a great person,mother,sister,friend and so much more.
Self you deserve to be loved as you would love another.
Self not everyone is going to hurt you intentionally, its ok to trust again.
Self you have the right to demand respect from others.
Self your opinion does matter.
Self you are a passionate,giving & caring person.
Self you have a lot of people that care about you & would do anything for you.
Self NEVER give up going after the things in life that are important to you no matter what!
Self what you have to say is just as important as the next person.
Self NEVER stop taking value in yourself.
Self its ok to take a day off every now and again from life.
Self continue to do good and show love to others around you.

Every now and again folks we have to remind ourselves why we matter & to NEVER give up. There will be those around you that will try to convince you other wise. They will only succeed if you allow them to. Its ok to have a down day and not have a reason for it. I like to refer to that as "Just Be" days. Just be what you want to be that day. If its low key or full throttle, then so be it. To often we are so critical of ourselves and feed into some of the negativity that surrounds us. STOP!!!  Surround yourself with people that will help pick you up or if need be hold you up for a minute. I'm blessed with a GREAT group of people both near and far. That being all the fuel I need to keep on keeping on.

As always please keep the men and woman of all our military in your prayers for a safe return as they are off protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. Also please remember those that are going through a challenging time right now in their own life that they may have the strength and guidance for the road ahead of them. God Bless.

The next right thing...

"It is not fair to ask of others what you, are not willing to do yourself." Eleanor Roosevelt

Have you ever gone to do something either for yourself or another person and asked yourself, is this the next right thing to do? Am I doing it for the right reasons? Is this about purity not selfishness? Let's face it often times people do things for others because of what they have to gain from the action. No matter how big or small the gain may be. A genuine person doesn't need to shower others with material gifts. The most precious gifts are things such as paying attention to others, respecting them for who they are, showing love and giving of our time. I recently had a situation where I have done all these things and in the end the person did not return the respect and ending up wasting a lot of time, mine and many others as well. We all offered unconditional love and support no matter what time day or night this person needed. Expecting nothing in return. Only doing it because we believed in this person and tried to help them see what others also saw they were capable of. Was it the next right thing? Yes. Was it for the right reasons? Absolutely. Was it for selfish reasons? Definitely not. When it all fell apart I had to question my reasons, my actions and motives for the part I played in this situation. I stand behind my part, knowing that I truly wanted to help with nothing to gain.

I am a firm believer that how we treat others will come back to us in some form or another. Offering others understanding and compassion changes how we perceive the world around us on a daily basis. The truth of the matter is, our own attitudes often determine what kind of experiences we'll have. For example if you view the world as being shit, then your attitude will be such. Anger and resentment won't bring us peace folks. I promise! There is an old saying I really like; "think it into a reality", meaning that if you fill your head with good things then good things will come and vise versa. The challenge comes when something does not goes as originally planned that we need to find the strength to push through the negative and stay in the positive. Remember what you put in the world will come back to you. The whole world is changed by the tiniest of acts. Do good show love!!

However, wherever and whomever we choose to help is unimportant. There are those in need everywhere. But when we figure out how to sincerely help other people, we'll have also learned how to be happy for a lifetime. See folks I try to surround myself with people who will hold me up when I feel like laying down and giving up. People that show me over and over that its ok to start trusting again. People that want only the best for me so that I can return the favor to be/give the best in return. I am very blessed in that I have GREAT support system. Lets face it life and living is about the "WE" factor not the "ME" factor. We need always remember that life is purposeful, and the events involving us are by design not by chance.

As always please continue to cover our men and woman of all branches of the military for a safe return home one day as they are protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS.