Precious little gifts

Often times this image is the out come of a break up of our relationships. Whether it be divorce or relationship of another kind. The children are left feeling like they had to of done something to cause this or they are pushed to the back and left to figure things out on their own; because the adults are to busy trying to figure out whats next. I think that often times we forget how much our children watch and listen when we don't think they are paying attention. They are like little sponges soaking it all up. I remember being a little girl, maybe 7yrs old and laying on the landing of our stairs and listening to all the fights my parents had all the time. And this went on for 3yrs until they finally made the decision to get a divorce. The divorce wasn't any prettier, the fighting never stopped. I being the oldest was always put in the middle and forced to grow up much faster than any 10yr old should have to. The positive in this negative is that I know today what I won't do in front of my daughter and it has made me a stronger, better person for having gone through that.
Sometimes when the parents move on they get with someone that thinks its ok to fight in front of the children or do inappropriate things with the children present. And for whatever reason the parent chooses to stay in this unhealthy situation, failing to understand the long term effect that will have on their children. Leading to possible out comes such as; hanging out with the wrong crowd, grades slipping, getting in trouble with the law, lack of respect for adults, becoming selfish individuals etc etc etc.  Our children act out as a way to get our attention and when they are ignored can become very unruly.
Our children need to be reassured while going through this trying time how much you love them. How their opinion of what you are all going through matters as well as the adults. They need to be told that none of the happenings has anything to do with them and that neither parent loves them any less. Children need to know that you will be there to listen and give them comfort and support with a healthy balance. Not allowing them to manipulate the situation and realizing that every action has a consequence. This can go on for several years after the separation, the important thing is to always be there for them, helping to guide their choices.
I personally think that by doing this you are not only building a healthy relationship with your children, but showing them that they matter and they will take that into the world in future relationships with people as a whole. Giving them great self esteem and strength to not be afraid to ask for their wants and needs to be met. Because they know and not question how much they matter.
Please remember that our children are precious little gifts given to us by god, not to be taken for granted or neglected. There are people who long to be parents and for different reasons are denied that gift. Which breaks my heart as I can not imagine my life without my beautiful little girl!!
As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of military in your prayers for a safe return home to their loved ones as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Stronger

                        No regrets. Never settle. Never quit!!
                                         God Bless

Something old, new, borrowed and blue...

This is more than just a saying for a wedding or new beginning. For me this represents the story of our lives. The old hurts of the past, new friendships or loves, borrowed time here on earth and being blue or troubled of times we all experience. Such is life. It is our choice how we choose to deal with all of this. Whether good or bad all actions have a consequence.
Mistakes are what make us who we are today. I like to refer to those as character builders. It only becomes a problem when we don't learn from those very mistakes that cause us anguish. For me in the past it was always safer to not let people in for fear of getting hurt. By both friend or lover. When the reality of this thinking is, I was only hurting myself by not allowing for life lessons to help shape me and build my character of the woman I am meant to be. The woman I am growing in to. Strong, confident and emotionally available. There comes a time in our lives when we have to let go of the old hurts, pain and fear caused to us by another and allow for the new to enter. If your always looking to the future with fear from the past, you'll miss all the good stuff going on in the right here and now. Find balance. Move forward. Live life to the fullest.   "Live, Love, Laugh"
"People are like pigeons. They do what they do and you cant prevent it." I once read that and originally thought what are they talking about? Then it dawned on me. If you sat on a park bench and a pigeon shits on you, what are you going to do about it? Nothing!! There was nothing you could of done to prevent that from happening. Often times people do what they do and there is nothing you can do to prevent that very thing from happening to you either. A healthy relationship encourages the seeking of a wider mental and spiritual understanding; it is never threatened. Not be envious of one another, rather offer encouragement, love and support. The word relationship means any person or persons connecting, not necessarily as lovers. To be spiritual means the quality or state of being. Our spiritual life is on the same plane as everyday relationships. It's not just something within our mind or feelings. It's growth depends on the way we relate to each other as intimate partners. Intimate not being of sex but sharing open and honest communication with another. Love and spirituality must be learned, and learned again and again; there is no end to it. All we can do is our part by learning each day to love the best we can. It can be frightening to trust another person enough to take risks and let go of the outcome. But love is a risk that's worth it.  Without risks there is no hope and without hope there is no journey. Having hope makes every day easier and more gentle.
We are all on borrowed time. There are no dress rehearsals in life. Someone once said to live life as if we had a camera strapped to us and taping everything we did only to send it immediately out into the world. Is this something you would be proud of and how you were living?  I know I would want a do over every now and again. "There is no short cut to life. To the end of our days, life is a lesson imperfectly learned." Harrison E. Salisbury
Without the ups and downs of life we cannot learn how to appreciate the good and bad. I whole heartedly believe when we die God will ask us 1 question. "Did you enjoy everything I gave you both good and bad?" We had better be able to answer yes to both parts of that because without one we cannot know the other. Life is a journey not a destination. We continue to grow, but the lessons we learn are not the things we expected. We grieve the lateness of our learning, and then we go on to learn more. We essentially learn how to learn. We become more accepting of life and learn how to engage and accept that there is no right or wrong answer at the end of our search.
Find strength in your moments of weakness. It is when we are challenged in life that we find our true character and may even surprise ourselves with the strength we are able to muster up. Never Give up Never surrender!!
As always please keep the men and woman of all military branches in your prayers for a safe return home as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Longing...

                                   Longing for Pure Love
                                   Longing for Genuine Friendships
                                   Longing for Courage
                                   Longing for Understanding
                                   Longing for Peace

Without a longing for something, there is no hope. Without hope there is only fear and regrets.
Everyday is a chance for a new experience if you choose. Today is too late to change yesterday's disappointments. If you make only one resolution this year, let it be to live boldly. You control this moment. Live in the now. Embrace your beauty. Discover passion both new and old.
Carpe Diem my friends!! Seize the day.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless

Feel it, Live it, Love it..

"I will not belittle myself or others for mistakes made. There is no gain to be made dwelling on an error. I will choose to cast off anger and disappointment"     author unknown

Anger, disappointments and mistakes are all part of life. Often causing many tears and moments of weakness or so it feels. Feel it, don't stuff it!! Value yourself enough to know you just as anyone else has that right. God will continue to put us through tests in life and sometimes the same ones repeatedly until we learn what he is trying to teach us. Most of the time it is strength driven. Showing us just how strong we really are. Crying along the way is ok despite what we may have been taught early on. I for one was taught if I was crying I better have a damn good reason for it or I was in deep shit. I remember being roughly 6/7yrs old and introduced to the song "Don't cry out loud" by Melissa Manchester. Here is a verse of that song and what I was taught very young: "Don't cry out loud just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings, fly high and proud and if you should fall, remember you almost had it all..." See I was taught not to count on people and never let them see your pain. And have had many heartaches along the way because of what I was taught as a child. Today I know that I need people to see my pain as well as my joys. A lot of little boys are taught that real men don't cry that it is a sign of weakness. When just the opposite is true. Real men do cry and are not afraid to let you see that. They are human beings just like woman and have some of the same pains and joys woman have. I personally think its very touching to see a man cry genuine real tears. Just means he has a heart!
It's been said that crying is cleansing of the soul. There are many different reasons that people cry. Could be because of a loss (many forms), a disappointment, frustration, happiness, pain, anger and even manipulation. Whatever reason you cry, know that crying allows us to be vulnerable and open for growth and change to take place in our lives; if we let it. We are all ultimately responsible for our feelings, actions and reactions. Yes, some one can cause the pain but we have the choice of how long we hold on to it and how we react to the pain caused us. You alone are also responsible for how long you stay down. No one chooses that but us. Find strength and courage to carry on and push through. Feel it, deal with it and keep trucking through life. Find peace with the reason for your tears and resolution will come to be more clear.
I love the saying "stay forever green"; meaning always remain willing to learn and grow. Just because we get older doesn't mean we have nothing more to learn about living life on life's terms. Don't be so naive and close minded to think you have nothing else to learn. You will be the one to lose in the end. I promise!!  Please remember if you get nothing else out of this piece but this; remember we are all so much bigger and stronger than our trials and tribulations. Just as our skin sheds to allow stronger new skin to grow; so does your problems. Feel it, live it and love it.
As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return while they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.