"Raise your hopeful voice, you always have a choice..." Falling Slowly (song)
We are free to do what we want, but every choice makes a difference in our lives & sometimes those around us. Some choices bring happiness & some bring heartache. But we ALWAYS have a choice! I personally have made the choice that in 2014 I am going to push through some of my fears, in an attempt to find the authentic self I was designed to be.
Just for giggles I thought it would be fun to see if the #14 had a meaning. I found that the #14 represents balance, harmony, temperance (controlling actions,thoughts & feelings) & prudence (careful good judgement). Self initiation along with determination. The #14 encourages progressive change, renewal & growth. Also telling us that what we put in we will reap the rewards in the future. NO PAIN NO GAIN. I found this to be very interesting seeing how I had already decided on a topic for today's post along side with this HUGE goal I want to take on this year. I like to call things like this a "god moment". An affirmation from God if you will. His way of showing me that I am right on track with my thinking. And that is not always the case for me. Hee Hee
In my research of trying to find helpful ways of finding my authentic self, I learned that there is also a fictional self. Let me explain. Authentic self is a composite of all your talents, skills & wisdom. Not to be defined by your job, role in life or function. Rather what you already are. Fictional self is a feeling of being incomplete, as if there is a hole in your soul. Relying on this is like relying on a broken compass & will lead you wrong every time. Leaving you to feel lost, dissatisfied or as if something is missing. Fictional self is from a lifetime of suppressing what we feel,want or need. Being afraid of what others think of us or expect of us. Often times we take this in to our adult lives. Sacrificing for another just to keep the peace or because that's what we feel is expected of us.
As a child I was often discouraged to have dreams or aspirations of what I would like to be. My duties were needed at home taking care of my siblings, getting dinner done & what ever other household chores were to be done. I remember wanting to be in track & was off to practice one day, when my sisters came to get me because our house got broke into. I remember my father telling me that it was my fault because if I was home our house would of never been broken into. I loved playing volleyball, received a letter from my high school inviting me to try out & because of this prior experience I was afraid that something bad would happen at home because of me. So I never tried out for that or anything else I have ever wanted to do in life. Until now with this blog. I do it for no other reason than to hopefully help someone else & along the way continue to help myself grow into the authentic person I am meant to be. Unlocking all of my potential & letting the little girl inside come out for the world to see. I'm human & make mistakes. But I am ALWAYS open to receiving help to becoming a better person. And that's what I hope this blog does for others.
The good news is, its never to late to be what you genuinely want to be. This process takes time, patience & lots of love. Finding your authentic self will not only make you feel happier but more at peace internally as well. Be kind to yourself along this journey. Face your fears. Feed your soul. Set yourself free, giving yourself permission to be you. Because "you" is a GREAT person & "you" have a lot to share with the world.
As always please keep men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day. As they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.
