You do matter

Recently I had an AH HA moment when having a life conversation with a dear friend of mine. We were talking about how a relationship is a want not a need. In the midst of the conversation I said, "You know I say that so much I wonder who I'm trying to convince. The person I'm saying it to or myself." That was a HUGE moment for me. You see I think the reason I kept telling myself this is because I always felt that to need someone is a sign of weakness or a way to protect myself of what I have absolutely no control over. Heartache and disappointment. When all of that is part of life and part of helping to develop us into the people we ultimately become. Many of us whether we are aware of it or not, create much of the unhappiness we experience. The very disappointments we are afraid of are a result of our own negative or limited thoughts about ourselves and the world we live in. We should look at the disappointments as a challenge to reveal what we are so afraid of that limits our thinking and ability to reach our full potential. There is a big difference between being self centered, selfish or finding our self worth. What is it that holds us back from seeing our own self worth? For me, it has been instilled in me from a very early age that what I thought or felt did not matter to others. When now I know that if you don't show or tell someone what you want or need by showing them you value yourself than why should anyone see you as valuable?! Trust me folks this is not easy and often times can feel very selfish and scary to do. But today I'm learning how to soften my walls that I think are protecting me when in fact they are preventing me from having all that I deserve. Always remember that allowing yourself to be vulnerable can be quite valuable! Being in the dating world I have to practice this all the time so that I don't settle for less than what my daughter or I deserve. And that is to be treated like we matter with self worth, dignity and respect.  Reminds me of this guy I went out with and a conversation we had. I thanked him for being so kind and how I was not use to someone doing nice things for me and his response was "well if someone bringing you flowers, wine and saying nice things to you is something your not use to, than maybe you should set your bar a little higher." Got me thinking; not so much about what he had brought me or done but what he had said. Maybe I should value myself more and expect nice things to be done for me on a regular basis. Not because I expect them but because I deserve them. Things did not work out for us and at first I thought I must of done something wrong when in fact I did nothing wrong he just wanted something other than I had to offer. And that's ok. See what he gave me was something of great value that I will take with me on my journey thru life and learning how to live it. For that I am forever grateful. He taught me and even told me that I was a great person and I should not let anyone cause me to change who I am or what I want out of life nor should I feel like I have to change. He taught me the true meaning of having self worth and valuing myself.
We put such great value on so many materialistic things in life such as housing, clothing, food or a trip we maybe want to take. And in the end none of that matters. So why do we struggle to put value on the very thing that we can take with us and that is the feeling of self worth/value?!  The word need to me up until recently has always felt like a bad thing, when in fact it's not a bad thing at all. Especially when we think about the need to value ourselves so that we may teach others how to treat us. Hear the lesson my friend has taught me and expect it because you deserve it not because you feel entitled! Be who you are and not what the world thinks you should be. Such a freeing feeling.
As always please continue to keep the men and woman of all branches of military in your prayers for a safe return home to their loved ones, as they are out protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. And for those that may have their own struggles they are going thru in life, share your strength with them so that they may overcome. God Bless.