Longing...

                                   Longing for Pure Love
                                   Longing for Genuine Friendships
                                   Longing for Courage
                                   Longing for Understanding
                                   Longing for Peace

Without a longing for something, there is no hope. Without hope there is only fear and regrets.
Everyday is a chance for a new experience if you choose. Today is too late to change yesterday's disappointments. If you make only one resolution this year, let it be to live boldly. You control this moment. Live in the now. Embrace your beauty. Discover passion both new and old.
Carpe Diem my friends!! Seize the day.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless

Feel it, Live it, Love it..

"I will not belittle myself or others for mistakes made. There is no gain to be made dwelling on an error. I will choose to cast off anger and disappointment"     author unknown

Anger, disappointments and mistakes are all part of life. Often causing many tears and moments of weakness or so it feels. Feel it, don't stuff it!! Value yourself enough to know you just as anyone else has that right. God will continue to put us through tests in life and sometimes the same ones repeatedly until we learn what he is trying to teach us. Most of the time it is strength driven. Showing us just how strong we really are. Crying along the way is ok despite what we may have been taught early on. I for one was taught if I was crying I better have a damn good reason for it or I was in deep shit. I remember being roughly 6/7yrs old and introduced to the song "Don't cry out loud" by Melissa Manchester. Here is a verse of that song and what I was taught very young: "Don't cry out loud just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings, fly high and proud and if you should fall, remember you almost had it all..." See I was taught not to count on people and never let them see your pain. And have had many heartaches along the way because of what I was taught as a child. Today I know that I need people to see my pain as well as my joys. A lot of little boys are taught that real men don't cry that it is a sign of weakness. When just the opposite is true. Real men do cry and are not afraid to let you see that. They are human beings just like woman and have some of the same pains and joys woman have. I personally think its very touching to see a man cry genuine real tears. Just means he has a heart!
It's been said that crying is cleansing of the soul. There are many different reasons that people cry. Could be because of a loss (many forms), a disappointment, frustration, happiness, pain, anger and even manipulation. Whatever reason you cry, know that crying allows us to be vulnerable and open for growth and change to take place in our lives; if we let it. We are all ultimately responsible for our feelings, actions and reactions. Yes, some one can cause the pain but we have the choice of how long we hold on to it and how we react to the pain caused us. You alone are also responsible for how long you stay down. No one chooses that but us. Find strength and courage to carry on and push through. Feel it, deal with it and keep trucking through life. Find peace with the reason for your tears and resolution will come to be more clear.
I love the saying "stay forever green"; meaning always remain willing to learn and grow. Just because we get older doesn't mean we have nothing more to learn about living life on life's terms. Don't be so naive and close minded to think you have nothing else to learn. You will be the one to lose in the end. I promise!!  Please remember if you get nothing else out of this piece but this; remember we are all so much bigger and stronger than our trials and tribulations. Just as our skin sheds to allow stronger new skin to grow; so does your problems. Feel it, live it and love it.
As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return while they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Flooded

As you take in the beauty of this picture let the depth of it's meaning soak in for a moment. What you see is yours and yours alone. We all view things differently such as this picture. For me it means sadness, loss, strength and beauty. This picture and I'm quoting someone very close to me here represents a "flood of emotions".  Here is what I see. When I look into the depth of this persons eyes I see sadness, down to the tree that represents a loss he/she may have experienced causing the sadness. The crow is more times than not viewed as a bad omen, caused by deception. However; when you google the symbolic meaning of a crow you will see that it actually represents survival. A crow has the ability to adapt in any environment and is sometimes viewed as meaning spiritual strength. Water to me represents the ups and downs such as a wave of life's happenings. And then the shell, representing the protective cover often placed around ones heart as to not get hurt. And lastly the mini wave crashing on the shore for a soothing feeling that this to shall pass. Allowing us to feel strength that we will be fine if we just let go, going with the flow and not fight the currents of life. The Indians believed that our creator put everything on this earth to live together and be used respectfully. Maybe this is why I have such a connection to our earthly things in relation to life and the people in it.


Just as this picture can have different meanings to different people so do our words. People don't realize the depth of words spoken and how they can affect us in different ways. And often times can cause pain, sadness and even great joy. I once read somewhere "chew on your words before you spit them out", meaning think before you speak. Something I try to work on regularly. Tone has a lot to do with what we say more so than what we actually say folks. I have had physical abuse and I have had verbal abuse in my life and bruises go away but words never do!! Trust me when I tell you this. There are things in my life to this day I struggle with because of unkind words that had been spoke to me in the past. I am teaching myself everyday that I deserve to be loved and respected. How do you feel when someone says "I love you?" Do you feel a rush of warmth through your body? Do smiles come more easily knowing you are loved? Do you question whether that person meant it or not? Lets face it "I love you" is one of many words that is so carelessly thrown around in our world. Words of love can be very inspirational to the person receiving them. It can bring out the best in us, encourage us to move in a new direction, set new goals, step outside of our box and attempt to walk into something unfamiliar. Knowing that you are genuinely loved can soften the hard edges that life's experiences have caused. We don't have to get caught up in every storm that blows our way. We don't have to live the pain of every person that crosses our path and said unkind words to us. We don't have to become what another tells us we are with these unkind words. We all have the ability to comfort and heal by recognizing as the Indians did that our creator meant for us to dwell on this earth to live together and be respectful. All we have to do is live life on life's terms, go with the flow and show another respect they are due so that we can enjoy the ebbs and flows of life as peaceful as possible.
                                "Be the change you want to see in the world"

As always remember the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

You do matter

Recently I had an AH HA moment when having a life conversation with a dear friend of mine. We were talking about how a relationship is a want not a need. In the midst of the conversation I said, "You know I say that so much I wonder who I'm trying to convince. The person I'm saying it to or myself." That was a HUGE moment for me. You see I think the reason I kept telling myself this is because I always felt that to need someone is a sign of weakness or a way to protect myself of what I have absolutely no control over. Heartache and disappointment. When all of that is part of life and part of helping to develop us into the people we ultimately become. Many of us whether we are aware of it or not, create much of the unhappiness we experience. The very disappointments we are afraid of are a result of our own negative or limited thoughts about ourselves and the world we live in. We should look at the disappointments as a challenge to reveal what we are so afraid of that limits our thinking and ability to reach our full potential. There is a big difference between being self centered, selfish or finding our self worth. What is it that holds us back from seeing our own self worth? For me, it has been instilled in me from a very early age that what I thought or felt did not matter to others. When now I know that if you don't show or tell someone what you want or need by showing them you value yourself than why should anyone see you as valuable?! Trust me folks this is not easy and often times can feel very selfish and scary to do. But today I'm learning how to soften my walls that I think are protecting me when in fact they are preventing me from having all that I deserve. Always remember that allowing yourself to be vulnerable can be quite valuable! Being in the dating world I have to practice this all the time so that I don't settle for less than what my daughter or I deserve. And that is to be treated like we matter with self worth, dignity and respect.  Reminds me of this guy I went out with and a conversation we had. I thanked him for being so kind and how I was not use to someone doing nice things for me and his response was "well if someone bringing you flowers, wine and saying nice things to you is something your not use to, than maybe you should set your bar a little higher." Got me thinking; not so much about what he had brought me or done but what he had said. Maybe I should value myself more and expect nice things to be done for me on a regular basis. Not because I expect them but because I deserve them. Things did not work out for us and at first I thought I must of done something wrong when in fact I did nothing wrong he just wanted something other than I had to offer. And that's ok. See what he gave me was something of great value that I will take with me on my journey thru life and learning how to live it. For that I am forever grateful. He taught me and even told me that I was a great person and I should not let anyone cause me to change who I am or what I want out of life nor should I feel like I have to change. He taught me the true meaning of having self worth and valuing myself.
We put such great value on so many materialistic things in life such as housing, clothing, food or a trip we maybe want to take. And in the end none of that matters. So why do we struggle to put value on the very thing that we can take with us and that is the feeling of self worth/value?!  The word need to me up until recently has always felt like a bad thing, when in fact it's not a bad thing at all. Especially when we think about the need to value ourselves so that we may teach others how to treat us. Hear the lesson my friend has taught me and expect it because you deserve it not because you feel entitled! Be who you are and not what the world thinks you should be. Such a freeing feeling.
As always please continue to keep the men and woman of all branches of military in your prayers for a safe return home to their loved ones, as they are out protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. And for those that may have their own struggles they are going thru in life, share your strength with them so that they may overcome. God Bless.

The Dash

The Dash Poem by Linda Ellis


I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend.

He referred to the dates on her tombstone

From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth

And spoke of the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all

... Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time

That she spent alive on earth

And now only those who loved her

Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,

The cars, the house, the cash,

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;

Are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough

To consider what’s true and real

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect

And more often wear a smile,

Remembering that this special dash

Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read

With your life’s actions to rehash

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent your dash?

Share a Smile

"A smile costs nothing, but gives so much. It enriches those who give it. It takes but a moment, but the memory lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor, but that he cannot be made richer by it. A smile creates happiness in the home, promotes good will in our school and is the cornerstone of friendship. It can perk up the wary, bring cheer to the discouraged, bring sunshine to the sad, and is nature's best antidote for trouble. Yet it cannot be bought, borrowed or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. When people are too tired to give you a smile, give them one of yours. No one needs to smile so much as he who has none to give."

Author Unknown

Soldier On

As I had a nice long cry in the shower this morning thinking about this quote I knew I had to post about.  STRENGTH!!!  Strength to push through a love you cant have even if you know it would be an amazing love story. Strength to do one more push up when your arms are like jello. Strength to keep chasing a dream based on your god given talent. Strength to take one more chemo treatment when your body is screaming "I cant do this anymore". Strength to be strong for a loved one who is struggling.  This quote is 100% accurate in we don't know our own strength until we are faced with the very thing that challenges it,whatever that may be.
For me being a single mother and wanting to be the best mother one can be takes strength as well. When I just want lay down and give up I hear a little voice say "mommy can I have..." and I know giving up is not an option. I have to push through whatever is troubling me because this little person did not ask for a part time mother. It is my job to show her how to live with strength and perseverance.  NEVER GIVE UP NEVER SURRENDER!
Pushing through a love you can not have is Gods way of whispering in your ear "not yet my child". And really if you think about it love is all around us in our family and friends so we should get off the pity pot and tell ourselves "you are loved look around you". Never settle for anything less than the true romance that we all deserve. I believe that god places dreams on our hearts and sends us constant reminders of what we are to be focused on and never give up until we achieve the dream with the talent he gave us.
Talk about true strength and perseverance, go through chemo treatment for a cancer that is eating you alive from the inside out. And why does this have to happen to good positive people? Why do the ugly people in the world get a free pass in life? I don't have an answer for that one. What I do know is God has a master plan for all of us and it is in these "why?" moments that we must hang on to the strength he has given each and everyone of us. Along with knowing he has our back if we allow him to.
Bottom line folks is we all have a choice to lay down and give up or dig deep within ourselves and find this thing called strength. We must soldier on through all that life throws our way. You only fail when you stop trying!!!
As always please remember all the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home soon as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here back home. Also please continue to pray for all those suffering with something in their lives, whether it be an illness or heartbreak etc.