WITHIN...

Often times I have both heard and said; "what if they don't like me?" "what if I'm not good enough?" "what if the things they say about me are true?"...The list of self defeating, mind screwing and confidence busting questions goes on.  There will ALWAYS be people who don't like you. And there will ALWAYS be someone who is better at something than you are. This does not mean that your worth is less another's.  Thus making us uniquely special in our own God given way.  Not in a bad way either.  When I feel like this it is usually because I  am not feeling one or a combination of feelings.  Validation, love, respect, worthy or a sense of being wanted etc.  Sometimes we have to demand these things from people and one of the ways we do this is by allowing our own self to feel all of these very valid and much needed feelings our self.  If we don't believe it, feel it and show it; how can we expect someone else to give it.  This is called self love.  

Self love is about finding your worth and holding on to the value each one of us is meant to have and hold.  Not to say there wont be bumpy patches along the way or things don't seem to be going the way you planned or expected. That's ok also. Feel it, but don't buy into any self doubt that may come from it.  Just like the butterfly...not so pretty things can and will transform into beautiful things. Joy can come from life tests. Ever changing ourselves into much stronger people for having gone through such trials and tribulations.  But only if we allow our minds to remain open to receiving these beautiful things.  Transforming the pain into a new understanding. A new beginning.

I have a friend who has literally been to the pits of hell and back and you could NEVER tell it when talking to her. She always says, "you have 2 choices; rise above the situation and make something good out of it or stay stuck in the situation and be miserable..."  And folks, believe me when I tell you if anyone has a right to be resentful and angry in life, she does!  But she chooses not to and instead uses her horrific life experiences to inspire others along the way.  Showing them how to value life more than the shit we sometimes get drug through.  Personally, she inspires me to keep on keeping on.

Regardless of the frightening experiences of the past, no matter how big or small, we need to believe that other results ARE possible.  And that a new self confidence can be gained if we believe enough in ourselves. The more we trip, the more we must pick ourselves up and move ahead in life with determination. The more determined, the more self assured we are and the more self assured, the more loving we will become.

When looking for your own self worth DONT compare yourself to another. Each of us makes his or her own way through life. We are only responsible for our own actions and how we react to life tests thrown at us.  We learn more from our own experiences (good and bad) than from anything we read in a book or another's story. It is your experience, your journey that you grow from and learn true self love. With that comes the value you place on self worth.

Being willing to change is an act of courage. We are the only ones who can change ourselves. And how we view or love our self. NEVER give up the belief that your journey has a purpose. We are all here for a reason. Your self worth has extreme value and loving yourself is VERY POSSIBLE. Stay true to who you are and place a value on yourself that no one can take away.  

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of our military, police and fire in your prayers. So they may return home safe, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home.  God Bless.

Happiness... Build it. Own it. Enjoy it.

                                                                5 tips to find happiness...

                                                          1)   Own your own happiness.

                                                          2)  Challenge your own story.
                                                    
                                                          3)  Make relationships count.

                                                          4) Balance work with play.

                                                          5)  Enjoy the journey.

                                           And...NEVER forget to put "ME" on the calendar.



What WAS, IS and WILL be...

All things happen for a reason. I have to continue telling myself this on a daily basis. Reminding me that life happens. And situations arise that are completely out of our control. This is when we must force ourselves to dig deep and find both strength and courage to keep pushing. Never allowing ourselves to wallow in the "poor me" of life or beat ourselves up over mistakes we may have made along the way.

I remember an old boss of mine would teach her people; to act as if there was no one around to ask for help and ask "What should I do?", then find a resolution to the situation at hand. I use this is my personal life on a regular basis. In my experience I have found, when you put your life in the hands of others you then become dependent on them and find that the littlest things upset you easily. Reason being, you have not allowed yourself to feel the true pain of growth. It is when you and only you are forced to find solutions for your life that you tend to have a little tougher skin, a little more confidence in the things you are able to accomplish and more capable to deal with living life on life's terms. Not saying that it's easy, just saying the end result is more rewarding if we try.

A lot of living life on life's terms is as simple as accepting things just the way they are. Acceptance is not always an easy thing and often times takes a lot of tries to accomplish. If you're like me, you do it kicking and screaming the whole way.

When we accept that some of life's situations are completely out of our control, it brings a sense of relief and peacefulness that we so often seek. Allowing us to view each day as a new beginning, offering us regained hope.

As some of you know, Hope is one of my favorite words. Hope for me means that, as long as I don't stop trying to be a better person and do my part to make the world a better place; than tomorrow can and will be just that...BETTER. Hope gives me a drive to not give up. Hope gives me peace of mind. A calming of my spirit when in chaos or an uncontrollable situation. Hope that things in my life will work out and that I and my daughter will be loved and taken care of. And Hope is ALWAYS at my fingertips for the taking if I choose.

By the grace of God or the universe, whatever you choose to believe in; know that Hope is attainable and for keeps. Never lose sight of your dreams or the ones you love. Before you know it we will all be gone from this earth. Treasure what you don't have and enjoy the things you do. For everyday is a blessing not to be taken for granted. Accept what you can and change what you can't. Offer someone down on their luck/self some Hope where they may see none.

I would like to dedicate this to one of my dear friends Sheryl Lacy who lost her fight to cancer and was laid to rest today. She was my rock and my light.  She showed me and many others like me how to hang on to Hope and NEVER give up, by both example and her words. She was the unconditional love that we all long for. RIP my sweet friend. You will be dearly missed.

As Always please keep the men and woman of all branches of our military in your prayers. So they may one day have a safe return home, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Hungry For More

How many times have you been in a room full of people and felt all alone? Or because no one talked to you, felt unwanted? Have you ever been in a relationship with someone that made you feel like this? I know I have. Not because the feelings necessarily were fact, but probably the opposite...I internally felt unwanted causing me the feeling of loneliness. Due to always being pushed aside for something or someone else. I'm sure, where the feeling of not being good enough or worth of what everyone else has, had or was receiving came from. Creating the "poverty" Mother Teresa speaks of. Stirring a hunger inside to be liked, loved and wanted. Maybe this is why when in a group of people I make a point to speak to everyone. To let them know their presence is just as important as mine or anyone else in the room.

Some days we might ask ourselves, "is it worth it?", "why do I even bother?". Truth, we can feel alone, even when busy with everyday things. It feels like no one seems to care. Like life is so hard. Or people seem so distant. Even if standing right next to us. That is when we need to slow down and figure out what is going on with us internally, causing us to feel like this. We need to know we matter in this life. We need to realize that in reality, we are each contributing in our own unique way to one another. Our self included.

While we may share many characteristics and similar stories we are in fact each very different in our own way. And ALL bring something to the table that can help another. A gentle hug. A consoling word. Or even just an open ear to listen with. All of which possess a lot of power and contribution. It is said that with the lack of human interaction, whether through touch or conversation can be one of our greatest impediments to emotional intimacy and happiness.

It is when we become arrogant in thinking "I can do it myself" that pushes us deeper into loneliness. Masking a desperate feeling of inadequacy. Always pushing us to prove our worth to others or feeling like we had to. When in the process we trample on and ignore the needs of those around us. Those who want us and others to see their competency and worth as well. Perhaps you know of those who are just as hungry as you for assurance that they are loved and not alone in this life. There is power in a caring touch or kind word. I dare you to try offering a simple hug or ask "how are you?" and mean it. Your touch may accomplish what your words can't. And those are the moments that change and possibly save lives.

Each of us wants to be significant to someone else. And not necessarily in a romantic setting either. The truth of the matter is; we are ALL significant to all the lives we're touching at this moment in time. And the paradox is that we heal ourselves along the way, while offering our attention to another who is, by no mistake or coincidence, on our path.

Change is not easy, but it is absolutely unavoidable. And even worth it from time to time. Doors will close. Pot holes will get in our way. Frustration will mount. But NOTHING stays the same forever; and it's foolish to think otherwise. With growth comes change and determines the outcome resulting from the changed behavior or attitude and if you let it, will enhance your perception of self and the world around us. We WILL move forward in this life. Whether willingly or fighting all the way, it does not stop. Do you want it to be one of growth or being stuck? Only each of us can make that change. Are you ready? I am!!

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of our military in your prayers. So they may one day have a safe return home, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

 

Strong Scars

 

 

How many times has someone asked you, do you have any regrets in life? And what was your response?  I can remember one day driving home with my sister having this very discussion. She had asked me "do you regret anything that you have been through?" and I was very quick to respond "NOT AT ALL".  She said "not even one thing?" I explained to her that all the good and bad I have experienced in my life so far has played a huge part in making me the person I am today. Stronger, more determined, understanding and open to new things. We have two choices in life folks...Let it beat you down or get on and enjoy the ride!! Do not let the least pleasant experiences in your life leave scar's you can't learn to appreciate and grow from.  There is a song by Papa Roach called Scars and in the song he sings..."scars remind us that the past is real..." Whether it's the loss of a loved one(emotionally or physically), a job that slipped through your grasp, a relationship that did not grow the way you had hoped, etc. No matter what situation caused the scarring, remind yourself they may hurt like hell but so worth it in the end. Nothing happens without purpose.

 

Each of us plays a starring role in the drama of our own lives. Sometimes we forget the lines, so we improvise as we go. Refining our character and using our life lessons to shape the action of every scene. Life holds the bad as well as the good. We and ONLY we choose how to act out each scene. Sometimes we feel trapped in a vicious cycle of fearfulness. That is when we need to look within ourselves to see what is causing the emotional fear based blockage, stopping us from moving forward. Anger, anxiety, sadness etc. remember what goes in comes out the same. Meaning what we put in our minds is what will become us.  Example: Negative = Negative and vise versa. Emotions can take a lot out of us. Feeling them, whether it's anger, fear, happiness or sadness, can leave us exhausted and drained. Not feeling them can cause us to be irritable, off balance and edgy. Also causing us to feel exhausted and drained. Be gentle with yourself. Don't discount what your feeling or run from it either. Rather get to the root cause of what your feeling and find a healthy way to deal with it. Start putting in what you want to see come out.

 

Time has a wonderful way of erasing bad feelings and leaving us with good ones. Our memories are selective and fortunately, we choose which one's we allow to rule our lives. We can assist with the selective process of our memories by consciously letting go of the thoughts and feelings that are affiliated with our scar's. Making room for the happier memories to surface.

 

Don't tie yourself to your history, tie yourself to your potential. Remembering along the way that transformation is a state of mind and you need NO ONES permission to do so!! Being a happier, better you is a process. Not a quick fix. It's a journey. Embrace and enjoy it.

 

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of our military in your prayers. So they may one day have a safe return home, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

 

It is what it is. Or is it?

 

 

   "Learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes..."  Pink

How many times have we made a mistake in life and said "it is what it is" ?! I know I have. For me it is a defense mechanism, acting as a pain buffer. To make the pain of a painful situation not hurt so bad. Or the rejection justifiable. In a twisted attempt to make it easier to accept what has happened. I have to remind myself that all things happen for a reason and that it is not always "what it is".  Big or small all things do happen for a reason and serve some significant purpose in our life. Some would argue that is not true. That some things are truly "is what it is" situations. My personal opinion is that perception is key. And all things are perceived differently by each one of us. 

I have been through a lot of painful situations in the course of my life. Failed relationships, a job I really wanted and did not get, loss of loved ones due to death and the list goes on. Today I like to refer to them as "Life Lessons".  Showing me that I can be a better person without being negative about the outcomes. Believe me some day it seemed like the struggles would not end. The pain, the loss, the heartache and disappointments. Often thinking "God give me strength because I am burned out" and did not think I could handle another let down. Looking back I see that I have taken something positive from all I have experienced and now try to make a difference in anothers life by saying "I understand"  and mean it. Our mentality in any situation has a very powerful effect upon our ability to succeed in coming out stronger and not negative.

Is it just coincidence that these things happen to us? Again, open for our own perception of the issue at hand. I personally believe that there is a higher power working in our best interest to teach us valuable lessons. Opening our eyes and guiding us to help achieve our dreams and reach our goals . To become overcomers with a refreshed view of life and to show us a strength we never knew we had in us. So that we may share our experience, strength and hope with another going through a similar situation. So that we can say "I understand" and truly mean it.

Iyanla Vanzant says: "Don't get hung up on the hard times or the challenges. Tell your story by highlighting the victories. Because it's your victories that will inspire, motivate and encourage other people to live their stories in grander ways."

That is my purpose in sharing this blog along with some of my own personal "beautiful mistakes" (experiences) with all of you. Not to come across negative or hung up on the past. Rather to show you that there is NO situation to bad to overcome. My goal is to offer hope and encouragement with a little ray of sunshine at the end of the tunnel.  Thank God life is a "WE" thing and not a "ME" thing.  Put your hand in mine and together we can make it!!

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of our military in your prayers. So they may one day have a safe return home, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Cherished Love

 

 

 

 

"Happiness is not measured by what you hold in your hand, but by what you hold in your heart." Author unknown

 

So often we take people and life for granted. Saying to ourselves, "I'll do that tomorrow" or "I'll make that call to so and so tomorrow." When we don't even know if we will have a "tomorrow". Or how many times have you said, "oh they know I love them" and not actually told those people you love them. How do you feel when someone tells you they love you? Do you feel like you can take on the world knowing that person loves you?! Do you walk with a little giddy up in your steps?! Do you catch yourself smiling a little more because you know your loved?! Words of love can be very inspirational. They can sometimes encourage us to move in another direction in our lives, set new goals, step outside our comfort zones to try something unfamiliar or just give us a sense of peace knowing we are loved. Both giving love and being loved can soften the sometimes difficult things we have to deal with in life.

 

I have a friend who is suffering from cancer that is spreading through out her body and quickly. The doctors say they don't want to do anymore surgery to remove the tumors, because they are growing to fast. They (doctors) have recently told her there is nothing more that can be done and give her 3/6 months to live. The whole time she is fighting just to stay alive one more day, her concerns are for her children, husband and close friends. She says to me that she is ok with dying and that she is not afraid for the inevitable to happen, she is sad that her kids (grown) and husband have to go through all this. Telling me they have their own lives to live and should not have to be taking care of her. My dear friend is probably the most positive person I have ever met and ALWAYS no matter what she has going on in her life, tries to see the positive outcome in anothers problems. I have been very blessed for the last 20 years to have been part of her life and her of mine. She has made a HUGE impact on the person I have grown to be. She has taught me how to forgive and how to love by showing me with her actions. She has shown me how to laugh at the painful situations that would make another want to cry. She has shown me how to be a good friend. And even in the depths of her illness, she continues to teach me things...strength, determination, acceptance etc.  Ms.Sheryl is and will ALWAYS be my rock. My inspiration. My best friend. Her love and friendship will forever be cherished by myself and many others.

 

We don't have to get caught up in every storm that blows our way or every pain our loved ones go through. We don't have to right every wrong done to others. All we need to do is; "do good show love" as old man Raymond use to say. No storm or pain is ever really to bleak when we share it with an abundance of love to be cherished by both self and others. Offering our love humbles us and cultivates an inner joy/peace. It has been VERY hard for me to accept and see my super strong, positive, active friend fight this battle. And because of that has taken me WAY to long to go see her. But then one day in a conversation with someone, they said to me..."it's for her not you. She needs this." It helped me to realize I had to stop being selfish and go show my friend the same love she would show me if the roles were reversed. Knowing we are loved inspires and invites us to put our best foot forward to do just that; "Pay it forward". Love causes ripples of great and simple acts of goodness in the world and does not cost a thing if you think about it. Each of us can change the course of history today, tomorrow and always just by sharing our love.

 

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of military in your prayers for their safe return home one day, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

 

 

 

Reset...It's just that simple.

 

 

"You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the current model obsolete."   Buckminster Fuller

You can accomplish this by hitting the reset button in life...

Sometimes life hands us lemons and we are just not in the mood for lemonade. Or sometimes we are in the mood, we are just not totally prepared for the bitterness of the sour lemons. For example; when I changed jobs I knew there was going to be a HUGE difference in my pay check and had prepared myself to the best of my ability mentally for the 1st payday. When payday came, I saw, I excused myself and I went to the bathroom to regroup. Or reset if you will. It was a shock to say the least, but one I had been preparing for. I was proud of myself once I "reset", I was able to proceed with my day in a positive manner. I forced myself to quickly find at least 3 positives about the new job and that got me on track to proceed through out the day as needed. The follow payday came and subconsciously I was NOT mentally prepared for it. BAM!!! It hit me and I was paralyzed for the day. The problem was that I did not allow myself to hit the reset button nor find any positives. I and ONLY I allowed it to ruin my day.

When we allow ourselves to fly off the handle or react before hitting the RESET button, there could be serious consequences to follow. If I would have opened my mouth to express my shock and upset about my pay check that day, I could of possibly lost my job. The very job that I chose to accept. The job that has a lot of potential if I just stick it out. The very job that is paying my bills and providing insurance for myself and my daughter. Thank God I hit the reset button in my head and kept to myself. Or as some would say "put a rock in it".

Sometimes we just need to take a deep breath and hit the reset button. Ask questions such as...

"What caused the set off?"
"How important is it?"
"What if anything can be done about it?"
"How do we get in the right frame of mind to get where we need to be?"

It is when we take a step back and ask these simple questions that the reset button does not appear as big as we think in the moment.

Looking for all the positives in what feels to be so negative, helps to ease the burden of what is causing this life disruption at the time.

When we force ourselves to look for the good in any situation it lessons the anxiety and sting of what we think is so bad. Allowing us to enjoy the lemonade with a much sweeter and not so bitter taste.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of our military in your prayers. So they may one day have a safe return home, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

FRESH and NEW

"For success, attitude is equally as important as ability."    Harry Banks

I have been in that "why do things happen like they do?" frame of mind lately. Making one evaluate the goings on in my life and those around me. Do situations happen to make us press in and dig deeper for the things we really want out of life? Are they to force us to look within our own, to see if there are things we need to change? Such as our attitudes. Or do things just happen for no reason other than..."it is what it is"!

Isn't it just amazing how our attitude's determine what we are able to accomplish or not?! For example, I have worked with college scholars that had the dictatorship attitude and accomplished nothing though out the day, except tear down the moral of others. Making me question their ability, and asking...what are they really capable of? Then I have worked with your average everyday single parents who had a "can do" mentality. Who sometimes come from little to nothing in life and refuse to feel or carry a "Defeating" attitude. People who were able to accomplish any task you gave them. Even if it was something they were unfamiliar with. Causing them to be successful. And allowing them to have a "Victorious" attitude. Pretty much how I feel when I update my blog.

When we have the attitude of VICTORY in our beings, it allows us to be more open to having the attitude of "Gratitude" in our lives. Causing us to look at all we have in our lives to be grateful for. Forcing us to be positive in that moment. And when we are positive it is hard to be negative. Try keeping a gratitude journal for one week and see how much better you feel. Watch how your attitude changes for the more positive. Every day get your journal out and write 5 things you are grateful for that day. It does not matter when you journal them just as long as you do it. There is NO right or wrong way to do it either. It can be as simple as a bowl of your favorite ice cream. How good the breeze and sun felt on your face. How grateful you are to be able to smell the new growth in the yards around you. Whatever you choose to be grateful for on that very day you journal. It is your gratitude list. Own it, feel it, love it!


With the change in season comes more rain and increased sun. Causing the flowers to bloom and the trees to bud. Putting a smell of spring in the air. Representing all things new and fresh. I challenge you all, along side of me to nourish your attitude with all things new and fresh. Find a new way to view things in your life. Check the thoughts you allow to come out of your mouth. Refresh the way you treat other people. And watch the attitudes change. Amazing ourselves of our "ability" to grow. Fresh and New.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of our military in your prayers. So they may one day have a safe return home, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

DONT LOOK DOWN. LOOK FORWARD.

 "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you"  Fred Devito

The acronym for for fear is: False Evidence Appearing Real. For some this is a crippling emotion. Stopping us dead in our tracks. Unable to make a decision or take action on something in our life that needs our attention. Change is needed for continual self improvement. If we allow ourselves to be paralyzed by the fear of change, we then stop our personal growth toward our destiny. Allowing ourselves to lean on all the false evidence or situational things as an excuse to stay stuck or afraid. Not giving ourselves permission to grow and not holding ourselves accountable for our actions. We are the problem, but we are also the solution if we get out of our own way.

For others it is a motivator. Giving us the..."Oh ya, watch me." attitude. For some this is like a dare to do and go after x, y & z in life. Working towards our destiny. Not worrying about the "What if...", "Should I..." or "Yea buts..." in life. Just jumping in like a kid without a care in the world. And deal with the "What if's..." as they arise.

Some people get nervous and need to know the final out come of situations before jumping in to them. As if they can head off issue's before they happen. How can we possibly know the outcome of something that has not happened yet? We have to trust that our higher power (whatever you choose to call it) know's what he/she is doing. It is when our faith waivers that we tend to get ahead of ourselves in trying to figure out what is going to happen. This is known as "future tripping". Removing us from our source of guidance and getting out of the right here and now.

I recently experienced something similar with my job change. A couple month's ago I was having some serious issues with a person of power at my job. Causing some health issues and getting no help from upper management or HR. And was afraid to take it higher up for fear of losing my job. That very night after work I recieved a text from a friend about an opening at her company, working for her. At this time she was aware of happenings up to this point but not what I was presently going thru. Higher power moment? I think so! I would have to take a pretty big pay cut to accept this job, but knew that I had to do something. My health and sanity was not worth what I was going thru at the time. So I accepted the position with the love and support of family and friends. I was scared to death regarding the financial accpect of accepting this job. But I knew my higher power was working behind the scenes to make this happen. I just had to trust that he knew what he was doing and would not let me fail. I said my resolution for 2015 was "SCREW FEAR" and keep pushing to better myself no matter what the cost. I guess my higher power was listening and testing my ability to stick with it. SO here we are. And so far things have been good. Looking forward to the opportunities that lay ahead for me.

See folks when one door closes another will always open. It's just a matter of walking thru the very door thats opening or stand paralyzed with fear of the "What if's...", "Should I's..." or "Yea but's...".  All of our lives have a purpose, even if we cannot see that in the moment. Whether it is to be there for a friend like mine was for me, or to just be reseptive to to walking thru the opening door and taking a chance. A leap of faith if you will. Trusting that your higher power has your back. Ever reminding us that he is trying to reach us in even the most mundane of circumstances. Keeping us attentive to everyone and everything in our lives.

Love yourself enough to let go of the false evidence. Take a chance. Embrace your challenges. Be there for someone who is in need. Be there for yourself!

"Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear." Anthony Robbins

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of our military in your prayers. So they may one day have a safe return home, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

SNOWFLAKE

              "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken"  Oscar Wilde

With every new year comes resolutions and goals. Most of the time it is to lose weight, get in shape and if a smoker...quit smoking. But has anyone ever said "this year my resolution is to get mentally and spiritually healthy"? Maybe not out loud like we do the other noticeable things, rather inside so no one will hold us accountable for our words. I know I have. Well this year I am saying that this is my resolution, to get more fit mentally and spiritually. Please don't confuse spirituality with church to going, bible thumping, preaching to you on a regular basis type of spirituality. Being spiritual to me, is just finding an inner peace no matter what that may be. Webster describes it as having similar values and ideas, related or joined in spirit.

Now I know getting mentally and spiritually fit is not going to happen in one year. Hell it will probably take me the rest of my life.  HaHa An old timer once told me, "honey it took you this long to get this way and it will take you that long if not longer to get better."  What that comment did for me; was offer hope. Hope in the aspect of not wanting to give up on the broken person I had become. Hope that there was light at the end of the tunnel and to not give up. It offered a sense of comfort and peace, that as long as there was a willingness within my being to get better mentally and spiritually, that it was possible. Anything is possible and attainable if you want it bad enough. And willing to put in the hard work to make it happen. We only fail when we stop trying.

"Success does not happen without some failures" Steve Harvey

Don't compare yourself to others progress or story. Just like snowflakes, no 2 are the same. Nor are there any 2 people the same. Maybe similar, but not exact. We were all created different for a reason. To make the world what it is today...Unique.

My opinion is, that God allows us to experience things similar to others so we can offer a genuine, heartfelt, compassionate understanding of what they are going through. Offering support, encouragement and most importantly HOPE. The same kind of hope someone once offered me. Reassuring me that all will be okay again.

One of my favorite poems is Just a Weaver by Benjamine Malachi Franklin and the author got it so right when they said:

The dark threads are as needed
In the Weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern he has planned.

Just as snowflakes are necessary for a particular purpose in life. So are each one of us. Hold on to the HOPE that all will be well again and learn to enjoy the journey your on.  Both mental and spiritually.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of our military in your prayers. So they may one day have a safe return home, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Calling all Angels

I've noticed a lot of people lately posting angel pics online. I personally believe that we all have angels close to us at all times. I also believe that if we allow ourselves to be open to it, we can feel their presence around us. I for one have been feeling mine on a regular basis. Even had a little white feather fall on me in the kitchen the other day. I have nothing with feathers any where close to the kitchen.  Seems lately there has also been a lot of deaths close to me. Either through a friend or another family member. Not sure if that is because I'm getting older or if some how the 2 things are tied together. Age and/or the angels showing reason for their presence.

I would like to share a story about how our higher power (whatever you choose to call yours) works behind the scenes on our behalf. My Aunt & a close friend of hers (both widows) decided to take a trip out of town just to get away for a little bit. While there they struck up conversation with another couple staying at the same hotel. They were discussing a concert at the local casino that was going on. The couple sharing how they were going & how much they paid for their tickets. Later that afternoon my Aunt & her friend decided to try to get tickets as well. They were successful & got their tickets for much less than the couple paid. They tried to find the couple at the concert & were unsuccessful. They thought maybe at breakfast they could share their news about getting to attend the same show. Again, no luck. My Aunt & her friend decided to pack up & head home. While my Aunt was loading the car she thought she had heard her name called, but when she looked up no one was around. She continued packing her things & every time she went in to see if her friend was ready, her friend was not around. Getting a little worried my Aunt started asking the clerk if she had seen her friend...Just then my Aunt spotted her friend coming out of a room that was not theirs & crying. It was the couples room they had friended while staying there. The husband had died! Now see folks, God knew what this poor woman was about to experience & he sent 2 angels in the flesh to show love (hope) & encouragement (strength). As they have already been where she is (experience). There is no such thing as coincidence.

Every problem comes to break us or make us. The choice is ours. We all have a story to tell and share with others. We all have a purpose in life. ALL of us!

I have endured abuse both mental & physical. Neglect & abandonment etc etc etc. While I have not had it as bad as other's, nor had it as easy as some it's my life's journey & story to be shared. I choose to share my experience, strength & hope through this blog. My ONLY wish is that it helps just one person. And that, this person finds the courage to not give up & embrace all they experience in their life. Both good & bad. Then pay it forward to share their experience, strength & hope with another.

When we question our purpose in life with all the how's & why me, just remember all things for a reason...both good & bad. Without one we cannot know the other. And without our stories we cannot have strength & hope to share with others. Your story is yours & yours alone. You may catch yourself saying..."my experiences won't help someone else."  Quite the contrary. Good or bad this is our overall purpose in life. To help each other & help make this life/world a better place while we are here. Trust that our higher power ALWAYS comes through for us. Call on your angels to help if you need to. They are right by our side. Calling all angels.

As always please remember the men & woman of all branches of the military in your prayers. As they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God bless.

YOU ARE HERE

"Accept your existing conditions. Once you accept what circumstances you are in; you can then begin to see what's possible for your life."  Author unknown

Learning to accept & appreciate where you are in life at this moment in time may be one of the most challenging things for us to do. But believe that it is attainable. For me I have to first go through a series of questions. Most of the time the first question I tend to ask is, why. Why is this happening? Why am I going through this? What am I supposed to learn from this? What if anything can I do about this situation? How important is it? Trust and know that all things happen for a reason. Good and/or bad.

I recently went through a situation where I gave my heart to someone I thought was very good for me & my daughter. He had all the qualities I was looking for. Or so I thought. I did everything I could to show this person that I was not their past & I was not out for getting what I could get. I showed love, support & encouragement along the way. We were even discussing moving in & building a future together. But then my gut intuition kicked in. And full throttle. So I paid attention to it & did some research. What I found was not what I had expected. I found that there were many lies that had been told along the way. And some not so little. This made me see this person in a different light. Knowing that trust was and is such a huge deal to me, this hurt. Why is this happening? Why did he feel the need to lie to me? What were his true intentions with me? And the questions continued to race through my mind as I tried to make sense of all this. What I had to stop & remind myself of, is that all things happen for a reason. Look for the positive in all this. I was able to list several... I still have my dignity, I still have a home I can afford by myself, his lies do not define the person I am or was with him, my daughter was not effected by this and the list goes on.

That is when this topic hit me. It's like being at a rest stop on the highway. You go in to stretch your legs,go potty, get something to drink; and on your way out you stop & look at the map to see it says "you are here". In your mind you may think "uugghh I have so much farther to go." or "uugghh I have not made it very far."  While you may not like that you have only made it so far, you are ok with it. Because you know that if you keep going, you will get where you want to be. The same is true in life. Accepting that you are where you are suppose to be in this moment in time. In life. That there is a lesson to be learned on this road you are traveling. Just know that you are on the right path & let that ease your yearning to have it ALL & wanting it right NOW. We all want the better job, the perfect relationship, the nice house etc. I personally struggle with these very things. I stop myself by saying "in due time".

I recently watched a snip it on line of a man named Nick Vujcic that was born without any arms or legs & at 10yrs old tried to commit suicide. Thankfully enough he failed & now is an inspirational speaker around the world. He said & I quote "you can be angry with what you don't have or you can be grateful for what you do have." Very powerful & provides another perspective for the way we view our situations.

It's easy to let our circumstances determine how we think and what we do. Yes some events are devastating and seem to have nothing positive about them. In those moments we must lean on our higher power for answers, strength & guidance to get us through it. Becoming grateful is the strongest, safest means of feeling good now. It not only alters our moods, but it changes our perspective on all details of our lives. God has a plan and everything happens on his time. We need to let go and trust this and the process along the way. Enjoy the journey or you will surely miss out on the blessings.

As always please keep our men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers. So they may one day be brought home safely as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless

SET SAIL

"Every human being is a problem in search of a solution."
  Ashley Montagu

No matter what faces us--an unhappy relationship, a serious operation or feeling uselessness or helplessness. It's vital to realize that there is a solution. We need to stay in the positive no matter how hard it is in that moment of time. Focus on what if anything we can do about the problem at hand and act accordingly.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do in life, while searching for the solution is love yourself through the process. This is an essential part of life. Loving yourself means having self respect, self acceptance, self compassion & sense of worthiness. It is by far the bravest thing you will ever do. If you don't love yourself how can you expect others to love, respect, accept and/or have compassion for you. Why is it so much easier to do this for others rather than ourselves? I don't know. I for one, REFUSE to stop trying to find the answer to that question.

 Be the friend to yourself that you are to others. Best advice I ever received. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Be good to yourself. Set healthy boundaries for yourself. And most importantly, be patient with yourself.  There is a positive aspect to boundary setting. We learn to listen to ourselves and identify what hurt us and what we don't like. But we also learn to identify what feels good. Along with what we will or will not tolerate. Having boundaries doesn't complicate life; we set boundaries to simplify life.

The second most important thing to remember is to be patient with yourself. Accept where you are in life and that you are human. Accept with that you WILL make mistakes.  Own them and grow from them. Don't beat yourself up over them. After all, you would not do that to a friend. Would you?!

We often times forget to allow ourselves to fail, even though our growth up to now has been a series of failures that we've learned from. With patience, we allow ourselves to take chances we might not otherwise explore. Life has and remains to be patient with us so far, now it's our turn.

If you have a boat and never untie it to sail, it will remain docked and never sail. We only fail when we stop trying and never untie our inner potential to set sail.

Whatever your current situation, step back and let your higher power work through you. You'll be amazed at the miracles that occur. When your will and the higher powers will are aligned, all things become possible. When it seems you have no recourse, you can always pray.

Be the best you possible. Be vulnerable. Be afraid. But most of all know that you are worthy of loving yourself and having others love you in return.

NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU!!!!

As always please remember the men and woman of all branches of military in your prayers, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God bless.

RELEASE IT

The Upside of Anger     Joan Allen & Kevin Costner
"...is the person you become. Hopefully someone that wakes up one day & realizes their not afraid of it's journey. Someone that knows truth is best of a partially told story. That anger like growth comes in spurts & fits. And in its wake leaves a new chance of acceptance & the promise of calm."

We can't always help what happens to us in life. We can choose how we deal with it. Watch your words & actions in spurts of anger. Remembering you can not take back what's been said or done. Allow yourself a 24hr soak, to process the situation; then if need, act accordingly. Sometimes the best thing to do in a situation, is nothing. Believe me I know 1st hand how hard that is.  Action vs reaction, for every action has a consequence.

Typically anger consists of 3 components...Thinking (negative thoughts), feeling (various emotions) & acting out of anger. Actually there are health benefits to releasing anger from your body. When you stuff anger it can have reverse effects. Causing anxiety, depression, along with putting stress on the cardiovascular system. Address don't suppress it. Get to the root of what's really behind & causing the anger. Find a healthy way to deal with it. I personally love my 100 lb punching bag.

Acceptance is key to new chances at better tomorrow's. Feet it, deal with it & let it go. Change can be uncomfortable. But good change = growth. And growth feels way better than anger & resentment. Not to mention better for your health. Hanging on to anger steels your energy & joy. Blocking you from having peace, love & authentic happiness. Remind yourself that this will pass & that ALL things in life happen to teach us some life lesson. No matter how much it hurts or angers us in that moment. Don't get stuck in the resentment. Let go & let God.

Everybody makes mistakes. Who among us is perfect? None. We have made many mistakes in our lives that have probably brought inconveniences to others. If we can learn to treat the faults of others with patience & understanding instead of anger & resentment, we may find others treating us accordingly. Isn't that what it's all about anyhow?!

"The only constant thing in life, is change" Change happens when we allow our self to feel & accept whatever caused this anger/fear. We are the masters of our own fate! We carry all of the tools to meet every challenge head on. Don't be afraid of your life journey. Embrace the promise of calm & hope for something better.

Please remember the men & woman of all branches of military in your prayers. As they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. Have a safe & happy holiday weekend.  God Bless.

Mind Gears

"Watch your thoughts. They become your words. Watch your words. They become your actions. Watch your actions. They become your habits. Watch your habits. They become your character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny"

We are not responsible for the thoughts that enter our mind. We are however responsible for how long we let it/them stay in our mind. And responsible for our actions if we act out because of those thoughts. Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle says "the problem most people have is not thinking; it is not knowing how to stop thinking."  For me that is so true. There are days when I can't shut off my thoughts & often wonder why am I made up this way. Why can't I just not care?! Why do I have to analyze everything in life?! Why cant I just tell myself "just because" & move on?!   I have come to the conclusion that I have been let down so many times in life, that somewhere along the line I have taught myself that if I can control the things that happen to me then I won't be as hurt or disappointed. When in reality; I CANT control anything that happens! That's life & it is going to happen no matter what we do to stop it. Most of us are afraid of things we can't control. Life is one of those things folks.

We have to learn how to roll with the punches. The more we do this, the more it becomes habit & the easier it gets. They say that it takes 21 days to break a habit. How about if we use that for the better? How about if we take those 21 days to build a better habit? Breaking the cycle with self love, learning how to let go & giving our self permission to just "BE" in the moment. Let go & let God or whatever you choose to call your higher power. Give yourself positive affirmations everyday. Treat yourself the same way you would a friend.

The definition of Character is; to have a moral or ethical quality. To have qualities of honesty, courage or the like of integrity. Honesty & integrity are not hard for me. It's having & showing courage everyday that I struggle with. I may put on a good front on the outside. But on the inside I am pushing myself with everything in me some days.  Higher power, help me stop expecting so much from myself. Help me be true to myself & only what I am capable of doing. Help me to be the best "ME" you intended in this life.

What others think of us DOES NOT define who we are or who we are meant to be. Fear will pass. Regret is FOREVER!!

"The best thing about the past is that it's over. The best thing about the future is that it's yet to come. The best thing about the present is that it's here now"  Richard Bandler

Don't waste precious time consumed in thoughts all the time. Enjoy the present. Enjoy the here and now. Life is to short & none of us are promised another day here on earth. Embrace this life you were given and all the lessons that come with it. NOTHING happens without a reason. Without a purpose. Do good, show love.

As always please remember the men & woman of all branches of our military as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. Pray that they also may return home safely to enjoy the here and now. 

Unlocking Authenticity

"Raise your hopeful voice, you always have a choice..."   Falling Slowly (song)


We are free to do what we want, but every choice makes a difference in our lives & sometimes those around us. Some choices bring happiness & some bring heartache. But we ALWAYS have a choice! I personally have made the choice that in 2014 I am going to push through some of my fears, in an attempt to find the authentic self I was designed to be.

Just for giggles I thought it would be fun to see if the #14 had a meaning. I found that the #14 represents balance, harmony, temperance (controlling actions,thoughts & feelings) & prudence (careful good judgement). Self initiation along with determination. The #14 encourages progressive change, renewal & growth. Also telling us that what we put in we will reap the rewards in the future. NO PAIN NO GAIN. I found this to be very interesting seeing how I had already decided on a topic for today's post along side with this HUGE goal I want to take on this year. I like to call things like this a "god moment". An affirmation from God if you will. His way of showing me that I am right on track with my thinking. And that is not always the case for me. Hee Hee

In my research of trying to find helpful ways of finding my authentic self, I learned that there is also a fictional self. Let me explain. Authentic self is a composite of all your talents, skills & wisdom. Not to be defined by your job, role in life or function. Rather what you already are. Fictional self is a feeling of being incomplete, as if there is a hole in your soul. Relying on this is like relying on a broken compass & will lead you wrong every time. Leaving you to feel lost, dissatisfied or as if something is missing. Fictional self is from a lifetime of suppressing what we feel,want or need. Being afraid of what others think of us or expect of us. Often times we take this in to our adult lives. Sacrificing for another just to keep the peace or because that's what we feel is expected of us.

As a child I was often discouraged to have dreams or aspirations of what I would like to be. My duties were needed at home taking care of my siblings, getting dinner done & what ever other household chores were to be done. I remember wanting to be in track & was off to practice one day, when my sisters came to get me because our house got broke into. I remember my father telling me that it was my fault because if I was home our house would of never been broken into. I loved playing volleyball, received a letter from my high school inviting me to try out & because of this prior experience I was afraid that something bad would happen at home because of me. So I never tried out for that or anything else I have ever wanted to do in life. Until now with this blog. I do it for no other reason than to hopefully help someone else & along the way continue to help myself grow into the authentic person I am meant to be.  Unlocking all of my potential & letting the little girl inside come out for the world to see. I'm human & make mistakes. But I am ALWAYS open to receiving help to becoming a better person. And that's what I hope this blog does for others.

The good news is, its never to late to be what you genuinely want to be. This process takes time, patience & lots of love. Finding your authentic self will not only make you feel happier but more at peace internally as well. Be kind to yourself along this journey. Face your fears. Feed your soul. Set yourself free, giving yourself permission to be you. Because "you" is a GREAT person & "you" have a lot to share with the world.

As always please keep men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day. As they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

The Spirit Within

"What is man without beasts? If all the beasts were gone, man would die from a great loneliness of the spirit. For whatever happens to the beasts soon happens to man"   Chief Seattle

Your "beasts" are whatever they are for you as the individual. Mine tend to be more along the lines of personal, professional & spiritual. Funny really, how they coincide with the 3 philosophies of human ecology; mind, body and spirit.  When the mind is in a healthy place it makes it possible for the body to be physically up for the challenge. Making it easier to get in a better spot spiritually. Now please don't confuse spiritual with religion. They are 2 different things. Although for some it is one in the same.

Take care of the body to quiet the mind, so that you may awaken the spirit. Native Americans relied heavily on the spirit world to guide them along their journey and everyday struggles. Whether it was a tree, animal or higher power of their choosing. The problem with today's world is that we are so rushed and under a lot more pressure to get things done or be what others think we should be. Not allowing ourselves time to quiet the mind and look within to awaken our spirit for guidance.

My idea of slowing the mind is to read a book or listen to soothing music and just be in the moment. Forcing out all negative thoughts that sometimes consumes our minds. Thoughts tend to consume me being a single mom and worrying about the daily demands that come along with that or worrying what tomorrow may bring. Worried that I am not good enough. Or that I have not done enough. When I know that today is really all any of us have. This moment; right here, right now. And as long as we continue to take steps forward no matter how big or small, it is still forward & it is good enough just for today.

We'll always have both sides, the dark and the light. The negative and the positive. We are human beings. We tend to strengthen the part of our self that calls to us the loudest. Which side we hear is up to us individually. Let's not forget that all things happen for a reason and are meant for our good. Even the bad experiences. We're given the knowledge and direction we need when we're ready for it. We all got here with god's help and we'll get where we are meant to be in the same loving manner.

When we awaken to the living growing world, our spirits lift and open to the hope and new possibilities life has to offer. If I keep my mind focused on peace, harmony, health and love. Then, I can't be distracted by doubt, anxiety and fear. I have to remind myself on a daily basis that I am a work in progress. And sometimes; I have to do this throughout the day.

Spirituality is one of the common threads through all of this. Our spiritual search is our effort to improve our conscious contact with our higher power. Whatever you choose to call it. I choose to call mine God. Through this will come harmony of the mind,body and spirit. Providing a simple reminder of where I've been and where I'm going.

Let go of fear. Feel it and breathe it out. Letting go of all the frustration, overwhelming feelings and panic that come with it. Quiet yourself. Love yourself through it. Remind yourself that you are good enough and that right now in this moment in time, is all we have. Awaken your spirit.

As always please remember the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. So that they may one day soon have a safe return to their loved ones.
A special prayer for anyone who is going through a challenging time right now as well. With the holiday seasons upon us it tends to make things harder to deal with.  God Bless.

Bound

"Doubt, of whatever kind, can be ended by action alone." Thomas Carlyle
Breaking the very things that bind us.

What is security based on? This is an important, bottom line question. Security is a basic human need and desired by many. If we look for the object of our search in an area where it cannot be found, we are certain to have frustration and sometimes failure. There is only one security that cannot be taken away, and it resides within ourselves. Security based on belief in our self, the ability to cope and survive and to celebrate life is the only security that lasts. Often times we cloud that belief with doubt and lack of trust.

Doubt is the root of fear. And such doubt causing fears usually come from some thing that you have experienced in life. Which can lead to other forms of doubt, such as trust.  Some causes of trust issues could be from such things as being severely wounded, abused, loss and/or the experience of betrayal.  One could have experienced such situations as far back as childhood or even more recent in life than that. Thus causing our doubt, fears and trust issues as adults that we must learn to face and deal with.

Doubt is destructive thinking and rarely does any good come from it. Please don't confuse doubt with intuitive feelings. God gave us intuition for a reason. Will there be trials and tribulations causing us to doubt? Yes, absolutely! How we choose to deal with it will determine the out come. Trust and love yourself enough to know that you can handle anything thrown at you. Release the doubt. Let go of the negative. Hold on to the positive. Even if you can not find any other positive, outside of..."I will be a stronger, better, more open person because of this experience." That in itself is HUGE!

We all need trials and tribulations in our lives. If for no other reason but to make us stronger. We all know how beautiful coral can be, right?! Well I read this analogy given by an ocean guide to explain a healthy, stronger growth and found it very relate able here. "The coral around the lagoon side is in still water, with no challenge for its survival. It dies early. The coral on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, storms--surges of power. It has to fight for survival everyday of its life. As it is challenged and tested it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It grows strong. And it reproduces. That's the way it is with every living organism."  See folks if you breathe air than you are a living organism. You are not immune to being beaten by the waves of life or winds of change. Both are inevitable. Life is a choice.

Choosing to, you can learn to trust and learn to trust appropriately. You can learn to let go of those fear driven doubts that bind you. Preventing all the good that God has in store for you. You can and will, if open minded enough learn who and what to trust, when. This will give you healthier relationships and a much more fulfilling life. Tame the fear and doubts of your mind, allowing yourself to feel safe, secure and confident. We all have the ability and deserve to be beautiful coral.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day. As they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.