Mind Gears

"Watch your thoughts. They become your words. Watch your words. They become your actions. Watch your actions. They become your habits. Watch your habits. They become your character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny"

We are not responsible for the thoughts that enter our mind. We are however responsible for how long we let it/them stay in our mind. And responsible for our actions if we act out because of those thoughts. Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle says "the problem most people have is not thinking; it is not knowing how to stop thinking."  For me that is so true. There are days when I can't shut off my thoughts & often wonder why am I made up this way. Why can't I just not care?! Why do I have to analyze everything in life?! Why cant I just tell myself "just because" & move on?!   I have come to the conclusion that I have been let down so many times in life, that somewhere along the line I have taught myself that if I can control the things that happen to me then I won't be as hurt or disappointed. When in reality; I CANT control anything that happens! That's life & it is going to happen no matter what we do to stop it. Most of us are afraid of things we can't control. Life is one of those things folks.

We have to learn how to roll with the punches. The more we do this, the more it becomes habit & the easier it gets. They say that it takes 21 days to break a habit. How about if we use that for the better? How about if we take those 21 days to build a better habit? Breaking the cycle with self love, learning how to let go & giving our self permission to just "BE" in the moment. Let go & let God or whatever you choose to call your higher power. Give yourself positive affirmations everyday. Treat yourself the same way you would a friend.

The definition of Character is; to have a moral or ethical quality. To have qualities of honesty, courage or the like of integrity. Honesty & integrity are not hard for me. It's having & showing courage everyday that I struggle with. I may put on a good front on the outside. But on the inside I am pushing myself with everything in me some days.  Higher power, help me stop expecting so much from myself. Help me be true to myself & only what I am capable of doing. Help me to be the best "ME" you intended in this life.

What others think of us DOES NOT define who we are or who we are meant to be. Fear will pass. Regret is FOREVER!!

"The best thing about the past is that it's over. The best thing about the future is that it's yet to come. The best thing about the present is that it's here now"  Richard Bandler

Don't waste precious time consumed in thoughts all the time. Enjoy the present. Enjoy the here and now. Life is to short & none of us are promised another day here on earth. Embrace this life you were given and all the lessons that come with it. NOTHING happens without a reason. Without a purpose. Do good, show love.

As always please remember the men & woman of all branches of our military as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. Pray that they also may return home safely to enjoy the here and now. 

Unlocking Authenticity

"Raise your hopeful voice, you always have a choice..."   Falling Slowly (song)


We are free to do what we want, but every choice makes a difference in our lives & sometimes those around us. Some choices bring happiness & some bring heartache. But we ALWAYS have a choice! I personally have made the choice that in 2014 I am going to push through some of my fears, in an attempt to find the authentic self I was designed to be.

Just for giggles I thought it would be fun to see if the #14 had a meaning. I found that the #14 represents balance, harmony, temperance (controlling actions,thoughts & feelings) & prudence (careful good judgement). Self initiation along with determination. The #14 encourages progressive change, renewal & growth. Also telling us that what we put in we will reap the rewards in the future. NO PAIN NO GAIN. I found this to be very interesting seeing how I had already decided on a topic for today's post along side with this HUGE goal I want to take on this year. I like to call things like this a "god moment". An affirmation from God if you will. His way of showing me that I am right on track with my thinking. And that is not always the case for me. Hee Hee

In my research of trying to find helpful ways of finding my authentic self, I learned that there is also a fictional self. Let me explain. Authentic self is a composite of all your talents, skills & wisdom. Not to be defined by your job, role in life or function. Rather what you already are. Fictional self is a feeling of being incomplete, as if there is a hole in your soul. Relying on this is like relying on a broken compass & will lead you wrong every time. Leaving you to feel lost, dissatisfied or as if something is missing. Fictional self is from a lifetime of suppressing what we feel,want or need. Being afraid of what others think of us or expect of us. Often times we take this in to our adult lives. Sacrificing for another just to keep the peace or because that's what we feel is expected of us.

As a child I was often discouraged to have dreams or aspirations of what I would like to be. My duties were needed at home taking care of my siblings, getting dinner done & what ever other household chores were to be done. I remember wanting to be in track & was off to practice one day, when my sisters came to get me because our house got broke into. I remember my father telling me that it was my fault because if I was home our house would of never been broken into. I loved playing volleyball, received a letter from my high school inviting me to try out & because of this prior experience I was afraid that something bad would happen at home because of me. So I never tried out for that or anything else I have ever wanted to do in life. Until now with this blog. I do it for no other reason than to hopefully help someone else & along the way continue to help myself grow into the authentic person I am meant to be.  Unlocking all of my potential & letting the little girl inside come out for the world to see. I'm human & make mistakes. But I am ALWAYS open to receiving help to becoming a better person. And that's what I hope this blog does for others.

The good news is, its never to late to be what you genuinely want to be. This process takes time, patience & lots of love. Finding your authentic self will not only make you feel happier but more at peace internally as well. Be kind to yourself along this journey. Face your fears. Feed your soul. Set yourself free, giving yourself permission to be you. Because "you" is a GREAT person & "you" have a lot to share with the world.

As always please keep men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day. As they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

The Spirit Within

"What is man without beasts? If all the beasts were gone, man would die from a great loneliness of the spirit. For whatever happens to the beasts soon happens to man"   Chief Seattle

Your "beasts" are whatever they are for you as the individual. Mine tend to be more along the lines of personal, professional & spiritual. Funny really, how they coincide with the 3 philosophies of human ecology; mind, body and spirit.  When the mind is in a healthy place it makes it possible for the body to be physically up for the challenge. Making it easier to get in a better spot spiritually. Now please don't confuse spiritual with religion. They are 2 different things. Although for some it is one in the same.

Take care of the body to quiet the mind, so that you may awaken the spirit. Native Americans relied heavily on the spirit world to guide them along their journey and everyday struggles. Whether it was a tree, animal or higher power of their choosing. The problem with today's world is that we are so rushed and under a lot more pressure to get things done or be what others think we should be. Not allowing ourselves time to quiet the mind and look within to awaken our spirit for guidance.

My idea of slowing the mind is to read a book or listen to soothing music and just be in the moment. Forcing out all negative thoughts that sometimes consumes our minds. Thoughts tend to consume me being a single mom and worrying about the daily demands that come along with that or worrying what tomorrow may bring. Worried that I am not good enough. Or that I have not done enough. When I know that today is really all any of us have. This moment; right here, right now. And as long as we continue to take steps forward no matter how big or small, it is still forward & it is good enough just for today.

We'll always have both sides, the dark and the light. The negative and the positive. We are human beings. We tend to strengthen the part of our self that calls to us the loudest. Which side we hear is up to us individually. Let's not forget that all things happen for a reason and are meant for our good. Even the bad experiences. We're given the knowledge and direction we need when we're ready for it. We all got here with god's help and we'll get where we are meant to be in the same loving manner.

When we awaken to the living growing world, our spirits lift and open to the hope and new possibilities life has to offer. If I keep my mind focused on peace, harmony, health and love. Then, I can't be distracted by doubt, anxiety and fear. I have to remind myself on a daily basis that I am a work in progress. And sometimes; I have to do this throughout the day.

Spirituality is one of the common threads through all of this. Our spiritual search is our effort to improve our conscious contact with our higher power. Whatever you choose to call it. I choose to call mine God. Through this will come harmony of the mind,body and spirit. Providing a simple reminder of where I've been and where I'm going.

Let go of fear. Feel it and breathe it out. Letting go of all the frustration, overwhelming feelings and panic that come with it. Quiet yourself. Love yourself through it. Remind yourself that you are good enough and that right now in this moment in time, is all we have. Awaken your spirit.

As always please remember the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. So that they may one day soon have a safe return to their loved ones.
A special prayer for anyone who is going through a challenging time right now as well. With the holiday seasons upon us it tends to make things harder to deal with.  God Bless.

Bound

"Doubt, of whatever kind, can be ended by action alone." Thomas Carlyle
Breaking the very things that bind us.

What is security based on? This is an important, bottom line question. Security is a basic human need and desired by many. If we look for the object of our search in an area where it cannot be found, we are certain to have frustration and sometimes failure. There is only one security that cannot be taken away, and it resides within ourselves. Security based on belief in our self, the ability to cope and survive and to celebrate life is the only security that lasts. Often times we cloud that belief with doubt and lack of trust.

Doubt is the root of fear. And such doubt causing fears usually come from some thing that you have experienced in life. Which can lead to other forms of doubt, such as trust.  Some causes of trust issues could be from such things as being severely wounded, abused, loss and/or the experience of betrayal.  One could have experienced such situations as far back as childhood or even more recent in life than that. Thus causing our doubt, fears and trust issues as adults that we must learn to face and deal with.

Doubt is destructive thinking and rarely does any good come from it. Please don't confuse doubt with intuitive feelings. God gave us intuition for a reason. Will there be trials and tribulations causing us to doubt? Yes, absolutely! How we choose to deal with it will determine the out come. Trust and love yourself enough to know that you can handle anything thrown at you. Release the doubt. Let go of the negative. Hold on to the positive. Even if you can not find any other positive, outside of..."I will be a stronger, better, more open person because of this experience." That in itself is HUGE!

We all need trials and tribulations in our lives. If for no other reason but to make us stronger. We all know how beautiful coral can be, right?! Well I read this analogy given by an ocean guide to explain a healthy, stronger growth and found it very relate able here. "The coral around the lagoon side is in still water, with no challenge for its survival. It dies early. The coral on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, storms--surges of power. It has to fight for survival everyday of its life. As it is challenged and tested it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It grows strong. And it reproduces. That's the way it is with every living organism."  See folks if you breathe air than you are a living organism. You are not immune to being beaten by the waves of life or winds of change. Both are inevitable. Life is a choice.

Choosing to, you can learn to trust and learn to trust appropriately. You can learn to let go of those fear driven doubts that bind you. Preventing all the good that God has in store for you. You can and will, if open minded enough learn who and what to trust, when. This will give you healthier relationships and a much more fulfilling life. Tame the fear and doubts of your mind, allowing yourself to feel safe, secure and confident. We all have the ability and deserve to be beautiful coral.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day. As they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Un-measurable Success

Why is it that some of us are so afraid at succeeding in what we set out to accomplish? How can we say "I want to ..." and then find ourselves paralyzed in the fear of not measuring up to standards that others place on us? What stops us from being that strong person we both strife and claim to be? Where does this negative image come from? When will we stop the vicious cycle and push ourselves the same way we encourage and push others to keep going, working towards their goals?

For me this comes from a lifetime of being told I wasn't good enough. That I was "stupid" or that I would never amount to anything. I actually had a lady in South Bend, Indiana laugh in my face when I asked her about having a column in her magazine as she said "oh honey I've been in this business a long time and you NEEEEED to have a college education to be able to write."  For someone like me that is always pushing myself to not give up on my dreams and passions that was a huge set back. I thought to myself, "maybe she's right, maybe all those people before her were right also, maybe I don't have what it takes to write and encourage people, maybe I should just be happy as a mom..."  Maybe!!  But the whole time I said all these maybes to myself I continued to hear a small voice inside say, "maybe not right now but don't ever give up on your dreams. Think them in to happening and one day it will be."

We all have different reasons for our paralyzing fears that stops us dead on our journey to achieving our goals. Mine was always the fear of being rejected one more time. The reality is, life is full of rejection. It is how we choose to handle that rejection in the end that determines the outcome of our success. I could of let this woman who laughed in my face cause me to never write again. And all those before her that either told me, showed me or made me feel like I was less than good enough also contribute to my giving up. But as a dear friend of mine use to tell me, I choose to let the anger and disappointment, motivate me instead.

Often times it is easier to lean on others to make our decisions for us. Leaving all the blame of why things did not turn out the way "we" thought they should on someone else's conscience. I mean after all if someone else is making our choices for us then we don't have to risk creating our own mistakes and trying to figure out how to correct it. We just continue to point the finger at someone else for our not succeeding. Forgetting that three more fingers are still pointing back at our self. We need to give ourselves the same love and encouragement we would give another. We need to be kind and gentle to ourselves while on our journey to success. Ever focused on how far we have come not how far we have to go yet. Each of us needs to find our own center so that we can occupy our own place in life. Taking a risk to create our own life path, not worried about the potholes up ahead or how long it will take us to complete our goal. Rather fill our minds with thoughts of "I'll get there if I just keep trying."

"One only fails when they stop trying"  Albert Einstein

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day as they are out there fighting to protect our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home.  God Bless.

Cherished Love

"Happiness is not measured by what you hold in your hand, but by what you hold in your heart." Author Unknown

So often we take people and life for granted. Saying to ourselves, "I'll do that tomorrow" or "I'll make that call to so & so tomorrow". When we don't even know if we will have a "tomorrow".  Or how many times have you said, "oh they know I love them" and not actually tell those people you love them.  How do you feel when someone tells you they love you?  Do you feel like you can take on the world knowing that person loves you?! Do you walk with a little giddy up in your steps?! Do you catch yourself smiling a little more because you know your loved?! Words of love can be very inspirational. They can sometimes encourage us to move in another direction in our lives, set new goals, step outside of our comfort zones to try something unfamiliar or just give us a sense of peace knowing we are loved. Both giving love and being loved can soften the sometimes difficult things we have to deal with in life.

I have a friend who is suffering from cancer that is spreading through out her body and quickly. The doctors say they don't want to do anymore surgery to remove the tumors, because they are growing to fast. And the whole time she is fighting just to stay alive one more day, her concerns are for her children, husband and close friends. She says to me that she is ok with dying and that she is not afraid for the inevitable to happen, she is sad that her kids (grown) and husband have to go through all this. Telling me they have their own lives to live and should not have to be taking care of her. My dear friend is probably the most positive person I have ever met and ALWAYS no matter what she has going on in her life, tries to see the positive outcome in another's problems. I have been very blessed for the last 17yrs to have been part of her life and her of mine. She has made a huge impact on the person I have grown to be. She has taught me how to forgive and how to love by showing me with her actions. She has shown me how to laugh at the painful situations that would make another want to cry. She has shown me how to be a good friend. Her love and friendship will forever be cherished.

We don't have to get caught up in every storm that blows our way, or every pain our loved ones go through. We don't have to right every wrong done to others. All we have to do is "do good and show love" as old man Raymond use to say. No storm or pain is ever really to bleak when we share it with an abundance of love to be cherished by both self and others. Offering our love humbles us and cultivates an inner joy/peace. Knowing we are loved inspires us and invites us to put our best foot forward to do just that; "Pay it forward". Love causes ripples of great and simple acts of goodness in the world and does not cost a thing if you think about it. Each of us can change the course of history today, tomorrow and always just by sharing our love.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of military in your prayers for their safe return home one day, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Weighted Change

"If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet"
Issac B. Singer

Have you ever felt like everything was just piling up on your shoulders, to the point of becoming somewhat overwhelming at times? Feeling like it was never going to end. Or asking yourself "what have I done to deserve all this? Or telling yourself "your strong enough to handle this, suck it up". When the truth of the matter is we did nothing to provoke these things from happening. Life happens! And yes we have weak moments. Not to be confused with us being weak people. But again, life happens! Our attitude and perspective can make life more positive and enjoyable.

Taking a good honest look at ourselves and our behavior, while showing ourselves compassion, is a VERY powerful combination. We have the opportunity to change things we don't like for the better and not demand perfection from ourselves or others. But sometimes we are to quick to snap at a decision over a situation that is often times caused from fear of looking inadequate or stupid. When what we fail to realize is that without taking the time to pause and think things through; or as I have been taught, take a 24hr soak on the matter, it's in those moments that we end up looking like what we feared. Pause for a moment before reacting and remind yourself that an impulsive reaction NEVER benefits us and then act accordingly.

We are not always in control of situations that weigh us down and rest on our shoulders (or so it feels), we are however in full control over how we handle it. In order to change the situations in our lives we need to change our thinking. Instead of looking at things like "well here we go again" or "bad things always seem to happen to me", look at is an opportunity to grow. Gods little way of showing us that we can change our old habits of negative thinking and that we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. This does not mean that you are in denial of the situation your going through it just means you are allowing yourself to think and act differently. Giving yourself the opportunity to grow and have a healthier way of thinking.

It is so comforting to know that we can't change anyone but ourselves, and that is all we need to know in this moment in time. Ever reminding ourselves that every time we change, we grow better. And when we grow into better human beings it causes a ripple effect in all directions of our lives. Thus making us better, more productive people. Change does not have to be a negative thing. Life will go on and situations will continue to arise, we have the power and choice to handle things differently. Get out from under the heaviness of the situation,change your thinking and leave the weights in the gym where they belong. haha

Love yourself a little more, be kinder to yourself as you would another. Be the change you want to see in the world folks. We ALL have it in us no matter what life throws our way.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers, so that they may have a safe return home soon as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home.  God Bless