Bound

"Doubt, of whatever kind, can be ended by action alone." Thomas Carlyle
Breaking the very things that bind us.

What is security based on? This is an important, bottom line question. Security is a basic human need and desired by many. If we look for the object of our search in an area where it cannot be found, we are certain to have frustration and sometimes failure. There is only one security that cannot be taken away, and it resides within ourselves. Security based on belief in our self, the ability to cope and survive and to celebrate life is the only security that lasts. Often times we cloud that belief with doubt and lack of trust.

Doubt is the root of fear. And such doubt causing fears usually come from some thing that you have experienced in life. Which can lead to other forms of doubt, such as trust.  Some causes of trust issues could be from such things as being severely wounded, abused, loss and/or the experience of betrayal.  One could have experienced such situations as far back as childhood or even more recent in life than that. Thus causing our doubt, fears and trust issues as adults that we must learn to face and deal with.

Doubt is destructive thinking and rarely does any good come from it. Please don't confuse doubt with intuitive feelings. God gave us intuition for a reason. Will there be trials and tribulations causing us to doubt? Yes, absolutely! How we choose to deal with it will determine the out come. Trust and love yourself enough to know that you can handle anything thrown at you. Release the doubt. Let go of the negative. Hold on to the positive. Even if you can not find any other positive, outside of..."I will be a stronger, better, more open person because of this experience." That in itself is HUGE!

We all need trials and tribulations in our lives. If for no other reason but to make us stronger. We all know how beautiful coral can be, right?! Well I read this analogy given by an ocean guide to explain a healthy, stronger growth and found it very relate able here. "The coral around the lagoon side is in still water, with no challenge for its survival. It dies early. The coral on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, storms--surges of power. It has to fight for survival everyday of its life. As it is challenged and tested it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It grows strong. And it reproduces. That's the way it is with every living organism."  See folks if you breathe air than you are a living organism. You are not immune to being beaten by the waves of life or winds of change. Both are inevitable. Life is a choice.

Choosing to, you can learn to trust and learn to trust appropriately. You can learn to let go of those fear driven doubts that bind you. Preventing all the good that God has in store for you. You can and will, if open minded enough learn who and what to trust, when. This will give you healthier relationships and a much more fulfilling life. Tame the fear and doubts of your mind, allowing yourself to feel safe, secure and confident. We all have the ability and deserve to be beautiful coral.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day. As they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Un-measurable Success

Why is it that some of us are so afraid at succeeding in what we set out to accomplish? How can we say "I want to ..." and then find ourselves paralyzed in the fear of not measuring up to standards that others place on us? What stops us from being that strong person we both strife and claim to be? Where does this negative image come from? When will we stop the vicious cycle and push ourselves the same way we encourage and push others to keep going, working towards their goals?

For me this comes from a lifetime of being told I wasn't good enough. That I was "stupid" or that I would never amount to anything. I actually had a lady in South Bend, Indiana laugh in my face when I asked her about having a column in her magazine as she said "oh honey I've been in this business a long time and you NEEEEED to have a college education to be able to write."  For someone like me that is always pushing myself to not give up on my dreams and passions that was a huge set back. I thought to myself, "maybe she's right, maybe all those people before her were right also, maybe I don't have what it takes to write and encourage people, maybe I should just be happy as a mom..."  Maybe!!  But the whole time I said all these maybes to myself I continued to hear a small voice inside say, "maybe not right now but don't ever give up on your dreams. Think them in to happening and one day it will be."

We all have different reasons for our paralyzing fears that stops us dead on our journey to achieving our goals. Mine was always the fear of being rejected one more time. The reality is, life is full of rejection. It is how we choose to handle that rejection in the end that determines the outcome of our success. I could of let this woman who laughed in my face cause me to never write again. And all those before her that either told me, showed me or made me feel like I was less than good enough also contribute to my giving up. But as a dear friend of mine use to tell me, I choose to let the anger and disappointment, motivate me instead.

Often times it is easier to lean on others to make our decisions for us. Leaving all the blame of why things did not turn out the way "we" thought they should on someone else's conscience. I mean after all if someone else is making our choices for us then we don't have to risk creating our own mistakes and trying to figure out how to correct it. We just continue to point the finger at someone else for our not succeeding. Forgetting that three more fingers are still pointing back at our self. We need to give ourselves the same love and encouragement we would give another. We need to be kind and gentle to ourselves while on our journey to success. Ever focused on how far we have come not how far we have to go yet. Each of us needs to find our own center so that we can occupy our own place in life. Taking a risk to create our own life path, not worried about the potholes up ahead or how long it will take us to complete our goal. Rather fill our minds with thoughts of "I'll get there if I just keep trying."

"One only fails when they stop trying"  Albert Einstein

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day as they are out there fighting to protect our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home.  God Bless.

Cherished Love

"Happiness is not measured by what you hold in your hand, but by what you hold in your heart." Author Unknown

So often we take people and life for granted. Saying to ourselves, "I'll do that tomorrow" or "I'll make that call to so & so tomorrow". When we don't even know if we will have a "tomorrow".  Or how many times have you said, "oh they know I love them" and not actually tell those people you love them.  How do you feel when someone tells you they love you?  Do you feel like you can take on the world knowing that person loves you?! Do you walk with a little giddy up in your steps?! Do you catch yourself smiling a little more because you know your loved?! Words of love can be very inspirational. They can sometimes encourage us to move in another direction in our lives, set new goals, step outside of our comfort zones to try something unfamiliar or just give us a sense of peace knowing we are loved. Both giving love and being loved can soften the sometimes difficult things we have to deal with in life.

I have a friend who is suffering from cancer that is spreading through out her body and quickly. The doctors say they don't want to do anymore surgery to remove the tumors, because they are growing to fast. And the whole time she is fighting just to stay alive one more day, her concerns are for her children, husband and close friends. She says to me that she is ok with dying and that she is not afraid for the inevitable to happen, she is sad that her kids (grown) and husband have to go through all this. Telling me they have their own lives to live and should not have to be taking care of her. My dear friend is probably the most positive person I have ever met and ALWAYS no matter what she has going on in her life, tries to see the positive outcome in another's problems. I have been very blessed for the last 17yrs to have been part of her life and her of mine. She has made a huge impact on the person I have grown to be. She has taught me how to forgive and how to love by showing me with her actions. She has shown me how to laugh at the painful situations that would make another want to cry. She has shown me how to be a good friend. Her love and friendship will forever be cherished.

We don't have to get caught up in every storm that blows our way, or every pain our loved ones go through. We don't have to right every wrong done to others. All we have to do is "do good and show love" as old man Raymond use to say. No storm or pain is ever really to bleak when we share it with an abundance of love to be cherished by both self and others. Offering our love humbles us and cultivates an inner joy/peace. Knowing we are loved inspires us and invites us to put our best foot forward to do just that; "Pay it forward". Love causes ripples of great and simple acts of goodness in the world and does not cost a thing if you think about it. Each of us can change the course of history today, tomorrow and always just by sharing our love.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of military in your prayers for their safe return home one day, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Weighted Change

"If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet"
Issac B. Singer

Have you ever felt like everything was just piling up on your shoulders, to the point of becoming somewhat overwhelming at times? Feeling like it was never going to end. Or asking yourself "what have I done to deserve all this? Or telling yourself "your strong enough to handle this, suck it up". When the truth of the matter is we did nothing to provoke these things from happening. Life happens! And yes we have weak moments. Not to be confused with us being weak people. But again, life happens! Our attitude and perspective can make life more positive and enjoyable.

Taking a good honest look at ourselves and our behavior, while showing ourselves compassion, is a VERY powerful combination. We have the opportunity to change things we don't like for the better and not demand perfection from ourselves or others. But sometimes we are to quick to snap at a decision over a situation that is often times caused from fear of looking inadequate or stupid. When what we fail to realize is that without taking the time to pause and think things through; or as I have been taught, take a 24hr soak on the matter, it's in those moments that we end up looking like what we feared. Pause for a moment before reacting and remind yourself that an impulsive reaction NEVER benefits us and then act accordingly.

We are not always in control of situations that weigh us down and rest on our shoulders (or so it feels), we are however in full control over how we handle it. In order to change the situations in our lives we need to change our thinking. Instead of looking at things like "well here we go again" or "bad things always seem to happen to me", look at is an opportunity to grow. Gods little way of showing us that we can change our old habits of negative thinking and that we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. This does not mean that you are in denial of the situation your going through it just means you are allowing yourself to think and act differently. Giving yourself the opportunity to grow and have a healthier way of thinking.

It is so comforting to know that we can't change anyone but ourselves, and that is all we need to know in this moment in time. Ever reminding ourselves that every time we change, we grow better. And when we grow into better human beings it causes a ripple effect in all directions of our lives. Thus making us better, more productive people. Change does not have to be a negative thing. Life will go on and situations will continue to arise, we have the power and choice to handle things differently. Get out from under the heaviness of the situation,change your thinking and leave the weights in the gym where they belong. haha

Love yourself a little more, be kinder to yourself as you would another. Be the change you want to see in the world folks. We ALL have it in us no matter what life throws our way.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers, so that they may have a safe return home soon as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home.  God Bless

Path of growth and change...

"Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life"  Herbert Otto

I've had ups and I've had downs. I've had it all and I've had nothing. But I NEVER gave up on believing that my day would come. This took me to believe on the inside what I felt and believed on the outside. Which meant (for me) to walk head strong through fear and loneliness. Never giving up on what I really wanted in life. I had to be willing to walk through some fear, reminding myself the whole time that I was worthy and deserving of what I wanted. Now this is not to say that I did not have a lot of disappointments along the way. But I refused to believe that I could not have what I wanted in life. The same happiness and joy that so many around me already have. It is human to be disappointed when we don't get what we want. And it is ok to feel that disappointment for a moment, but not dwell on it. It is when we dwell on the disappointment that we forget to trust that God has something different in store for us, something way better than what we could ever imagine. When we worry about future wants and past disappointments, we don't leave room in ourselves for the present. And often times will miss out on what is right in front of us.

Good things come to those who wait and NEVER give up hope. Having hope makes every day easier and more gentle. In time we will understand that hope makes it possible for us to expect more positive outcomes to our problems. It's so often true that what we expect is just what we get. If you expect nothing than you get nothing. If you partake on this journey, experimenting with your life, taking risks and chances, stepping outside of your comfort zone than good things are sure to happen for you. Involvement is a prerequisite if we are to grow. When we look toward the day with anticipation, we are open to all the possibilities for action. Open to new growth and good things in our lives. Looking on the bright side of life can't make our struggles worse! A very dear friend that has since passed use to say "today I choose to walk on the sunny side of the street" now I know what he meant by that. Idly observing life from the sidelines guarantees no development beyond our present level. Leaving us in the shade.

Our experiences, past and present, are not coincidental. There is no such thing as coincidence. All things happen for a reason. Both good and bad. We need to remind ourselves that no experience will attract us beyond what we are capable of handling. If God brings you to it, he'll bring you through it. Reflecting on the past reveals that indeed we do find the strength and the ability to cope with whatever experience ripples our calm. Validate your life experience to unblock what's ahead. Feel the pain and move past it. We continue to learn and grow with each life experience. You'll soon discover that the lessons we learn are not the things we expected. We learn how to learn. We become more accepting and open to life being a process with no shortcuts to the truth. We learn to engage in the process and accept that there usually is no right or wrong answer. When we become willing to be honest, open and humble then we will learn trust and will surely make progress in our journey of life. We MUST make life happen, not let life happen to us. This is not a dress rehearsal folks. We only get one shot at this life. Make the most of it. Be the victor not the victim!!

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of military in your prayers so that they may one day have a safe return home as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS for us. God bless.

Carpe Diem

"Happiness is not measured by what you hold in your hand but by what you hold in your heart." author unknown

How do you measure happiness?!  Is it receiving a special gift? Is it getting the job you desired? Is it simply playing in the rain with a little one? Or could it be just having a sense of peace within; that all is right in your world at this moment in time. If we allow ourselves to look deeper than materialistic things we will see that the happiness we so desire is found in the little events happening all around us each day. We must slow down to pay attention or we will miss the little whispers of such events. The question is, will we be still and quiet long enough to enjoy it?
Happiness is not always measured in materialistic things. Sometimes its just the simple pleasure of having peace of mind. There can be happiness in the way the sun falls through the trees or shines on your face. There can be happiness in the way a child shows their excitement to see you. There can be happiness in the way sand feels between your toes walking on a beach barefoot. Happiness can be found in precious memories of an event or time spent with a loved one. No matter how you measure happiness know that for each of us our true happiness is measured differently.
What we should not do is tie our happiness to what others do/say or we will always be in their control. What a bleak existence that would be!! Now, I'm not talking about when in a relationship how that person makes you feel. That is a natural response. But in the end we alone are ultimately responsible for our own happiness. If we are always relying on others to make us happy then we need to look deep inside to find what blocks us from accomplishing our own happiness. Looking for what is stopping us from defining who we are or what makes us happy without another's input and changing our journey. Life is not a dress rehearsal we only get one shot at it. Make the most of who you are and who God intended for you to be. Misery is not an option folks! When we die I believe God will ask us "did you enjoy everything I gave you, both good and bad?" I want to be able to say yes to both. Because without bad we would know no good & vise versa.
The key to success is to have a willingness to chase the very happiness we desire with courage and strength. Carpe diem (seize the moment)!!
As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of military in your prayers for a safe return  one day soon as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS her at home. God Bless.

Be the change you want to see in the world

"To be nobody but yourself in a world that is doing its best day and night into making you like everybody else, is to fight the hardest battle there is and never stop fighting."  Poet E.E.Cummings


As adults, we are suppose to discover who we really are and do our best to grow into that person. Sometimes life situations or circumstances prevent us from doing that. For some, we are taught that what we think or feel does not matter to the rest of the world. Causing us to be stagnate in life, stuffing our emotions and afraid to discover our true self.  It is when we are able to take a stand, find courage, love and support on our journey that we then blossom into the person we are meant to be in this life. We find our value and self worth, not because others acceptance, but because we finally came to believe. Dr Suess once wrote "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." It takes courage to speak your mind, trust to act on your own intuition and strength to go against the grain of what everyone else is thinking or doing. The end result will be true happiness because you were true to yourself rather than be someone else.

Sometimes we want to be someone else, anyone but who we are. We want to be someone who feels more free and at peace internally. We want to be self sufficient. We want to be free of pain and loneliness. Whether we get what we want or not, what we need is to accept and love ourselves just the way God made us. When we feel lonely, it helps to remember that God is still present in our lives. It does not matter how you define God or if you do at all, just be at peace knowing there is a higher power present in our ever changing life as we transform. For me, it is looking at the beauties of this world and knowing that something or someone more powerful than myself created all this, just as you were created. I choose to believe in a higher power I call God. Just as the cycle of life in the trees and plants, remember that everything changes and that life and beauty are still present if we look for it.

Endings are painful and very necessary in life. Endings give us a chance to begin again. Often times when we are going through an ending we can not see the light at the end of the tunnel or do we feel that it is for our best interest. All things happen for a reason. Good or bad. Believe that!! We may not want to see our new beginnings that lie ahead when we are in the midst of our ending, but we can trust  that they are there waiting for us when we are ready to move on. Just as the leaves fall and flowers die , such is life. And the only thing constant in this ever changing world is change itself my friends. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be that caterpillar that transforms and starts anew. Believe that you are enough!!!

As always please keep all men and woman of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day soon, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. Also remember take a minute to reflect on their ultimate sacrifice this holiday weekend as you enjoy family and friends. God Bless.