SET SAIL

"Every human being is a problem in search of a solution."
  Ashley Montagu

No matter what faces us--an unhappy relationship, a serious operation or feeling uselessness or helplessness. It's vital to realize that there is a solution. We need to stay in the positive no matter how hard it is in that moment of time. Focus on what if anything we can do about the problem at hand and act accordingly.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do in life, while searching for the solution is love yourself through the process. This is an essential part of life. Loving yourself means having self respect, self acceptance, self compassion & sense of worthiness. It is by far the bravest thing you will ever do. If you don't love yourself how can you expect others to love, respect, accept and/or have compassion for you. Why is it so much easier to do this for others rather than ourselves? I don't know. I for one, REFUSE to stop trying to find the answer to that question.

 Be the friend to yourself that you are to others. Best advice I ever received. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Be good to yourself. Set healthy boundaries for yourself. And most importantly, be patient with yourself.  There is a positive aspect to boundary setting. We learn to listen to ourselves and identify what hurt us and what we don't like. But we also learn to identify what feels good. Along with what we will or will not tolerate. Having boundaries doesn't complicate life; we set boundaries to simplify life.

The second most important thing to remember is to be patient with yourself. Accept where you are in life and that you are human. Accept with that you WILL make mistakes.  Own them and grow from them. Don't beat yourself up over them. After all, you would not do that to a friend. Would you?!

We often times forget to allow ourselves to fail, even though our growth up to now has been a series of failures that we've learned from. With patience, we allow ourselves to take chances we might not otherwise explore. Life has and remains to be patient with us so far, now it's our turn.

If you have a boat and never untie it to sail, it will remain docked and never sail. We only fail when we stop trying and never untie our inner potential to set sail.

Whatever your current situation, step back and let your higher power work through you. You'll be amazed at the miracles that occur. When your will and the higher powers will are aligned, all things become possible. When it seems you have no recourse, you can always pray.

Be the best you possible. Be vulnerable. Be afraid. But most of all know that you are worthy of loving yourself and having others love you in return.

NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU!!!!

As always please remember the men and woman of all branches of military in your prayers, as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God bless.

RELEASE IT

The Upside of Anger     Joan Allen & Kevin Costner
"...is the person you become. Hopefully someone that wakes up one day & realizes their not afraid of it's journey. Someone that knows truth is best of a partially told story. That anger like growth comes in spurts & fits. And in its wake leaves a new chance of acceptance & the promise of calm."

We can't always help what happens to us in life. We can choose how we deal with it. Watch your words & actions in spurts of anger. Remembering you can not take back what's been said or done. Allow yourself a 24hr soak, to process the situation; then if need, act accordingly. Sometimes the best thing to do in a situation, is nothing. Believe me I know 1st hand how hard that is.  Action vs reaction, for every action has a consequence.

Typically anger consists of 3 components...Thinking (negative thoughts), feeling (various emotions) & acting out of anger. Actually there are health benefits to releasing anger from your body. When you stuff anger it can have reverse effects. Causing anxiety, depression, along with putting stress on the cardiovascular system. Address don't suppress it. Get to the root of what's really behind & causing the anger. Find a healthy way to deal with it. I personally love my 100 lb punching bag.

Acceptance is key to new chances at better tomorrow's. Feet it, deal with it & let it go. Change can be uncomfortable. But good change = growth. And growth feels way better than anger & resentment. Not to mention better for your health. Hanging on to anger steels your energy & joy. Blocking you from having peace, love & authentic happiness. Remind yourself that this will pass & that ALL things in life happen to teach us some life lesson. No matter how much it hurts or angers us in that moment. Don't get stuck in the resentment. Let go & let God.

Everybody makes mistakes. Who among us is perfect? None. We have made many mistakes in our lives that have probably brought inconveniences to others. If we can learn to treat the faults of others with patience & understanding instead of anger & resentment, we may find others treating us accordingly. Isn't that what it's all about anyhow?!

"The only constant thing in life, is change" Change happens when we allow our self to feel & accept whatever caused this anger/fear. We are the masters of our own fate! We carry all of the tools to meet every challenge head on. Don't be afraid of your life journey. Embrace the promise of calm & hope for something better.

Please remember the men & woman of all branches of military in your prayers. As they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. Have a safe & happy holiday weekend.  God Bless.

Mind Gears

"Watch your thoughts. They become your words. Watch your words. They become your actions. Watch your actions. They become your habits. Watch your habits. They become your character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny"

We are not responsible for the thoughts that enter our mind. We are however responsible for how long we let it/them stay in our mind. And responsible for our actions if we act out because of those thoughts. Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle says "the problem most people have is not thinking; it is not knowing how to stop thinking."  For me that is so true. There are days when I can't shut off my thoughts & often wonder why am I made up this way. Why can't I just not care?! Why do I have to analyze everything in life?! Why cant I just tell myself "just because" & move on?!   I have come to the conclusion that I have been let down so many times in life, that somewhere along the line I have taught myself that if I can control the things that happen to me then I won't be as hurt or disappointed. When in reality; I CANT control anything that happens! That's life & it is going to happen no matter what we do to stop it. Most of us are afraid of things we can't control. Life is one of those things folks.

We have to learn how to roll with the punches. The more we do this, the more it becomes habit & the easier it gets. They say that it takes 21 days to break a habit. How about if we use that for the better? How about if we take those 21 days to build a better habit? Breaking the cycle with self love, learning how to let go & giving our self permission to just "BE" in the moment. Let go & let God or whatever you choose to call your higher power. Give yourself positive affirmations everyday. Treat yourself the same way you would a friend.

The definition of Character is; to have a moral or ethical quality. To have qualities of honesty, courage or the like of integrity. Honesty & integrity are not hard for me. It's having & showing courage everyday that I struggle with. I may put on a good front on the outside. But on the inside I am pushing myself with everything in me some days.  Higher power, help me stop expecting so much from myself. Help me be true to myself & only what I am capable of doing. Help me to be the best "ME" you intended in this life.

What others think of us DOES NOT define who we are or who we are meant to be. Fear will pass. Regret is FOREVER!!

"The best thing about the past is that it's over. The best thing about the future is that it's yet to come. The best thing about the present is that it's here now"  Richard Bandler

Don't waste precious time consumed in thoughts all the time. Enjoy the present. Enjoy the here and now. Life is to short & none of us are promised another day here on earth. Embrace this life you were given and all the lessons that come with it. NOTHING happens without a reason. Without a purpose. Do good, show love.

As always please remember the men & woman of all branches of our military as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. Pray that they also may return home safely to enjoy the here and now. 

Unlocking Authenticity

"Raise your hopeful voice, you always have a choice..."   Falling Slowly (song)


We are free to do what we want, but every choice makes a difference in our lives & sometimes those around us. Some choices bring happiness & some bring heartache. But we ALWAYS have a choice! I personally have made the choice that in 2014 I am going to push through some of my fears, in an attempt to find the authentic self I was designed to be.

Just for giggles I thought it would be fun to see if the #14 had a meaning. I found that the #14 represents balance, harmony, temperance (controlling actions,thoughts & feelings) & prudence (careful good judgement). Self initiation along with determination. The #14 encourages progressive change, renewal & growth. Also telling us that what we put in we will reap the rewards in the future. NO PAIN NO GAIN. I found this to be very interesting seeing how I had already decided on a topic for today's post along side with this HUGE goal I want to take on this year. I like to call things like this a "god moment". An affirmation from God if you will. His way of showing me that I am right on track with my thinking. And that is not always the case for me. Hee Hee

In my research of trying to find helpful ways of finding my authentic self, I learned that there is also a fictional self. Let me explain. Authentic self is a composite of all your talents, skills & wisdom. Not to be defined by your job, role in life or function. Rather what you already are. Fictional self is a feeling of being incomplete, as if there is a hole in your soul. Relying on this is like relying on a broken compass & will lead you wrong every time. Leaving you to feel lost, dissatisfied or as if something is missing. Fictional self is from a lifetime of suppressing what we feel,want or need. Being afraid of what others think of us or expect of us. Often times we take this in to our adult lives. Sacrificing for another just to keep the peace or because that's what we feel is expected of us.

As a child I was often discouraged to have dreams or aspirations of what I would like to be. My duties were needed at home taking care of my siblings, getting dinner done & what ever other household chores were to be done. I remember wanting to be in track & was off to practice one day, when my sisters came to get me because our house got broke into. I remember my father telling me that it was my fault because if I was home our house would of never been broken into. I loved playing volleyball, received a letter from my high school inviting me to try out & because of this prior experience I was afraid that something bad would happen at home because of me. So I never tried out for that or anything else I have ever wanted to do in life. Until now with this blog. I do it for no other reason than to hopefully help someone else & along the way continue to help myself grow into the authentic person I am meant to be.  Unlocking all of my potential & letting the little girl inside come out for the world to see. I'm human & make mistakes. But I am ALWAYS open to receiving help to becoming a better person. And that's what I hope this blog does for others.

The good news is, its never to late to be what you genuinely want to be. This process takes time, patience & lots of love. Finding your authentic self will not only make you feel happier but more at peace internally as well. Be kind to yourself along this journey. Face your fears. Feed your soul. Set yourself free, giving yourself permission to be you. Because "you" is a GREAT person & "you" have a lot to share with the world.

As always please keep men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day. As they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

The Spirit Within

"What is man without beasts? If all the beasts were gone, man would die from a great loneliness of the spirit. For whatever happens to the beasts soon happens to man"   Chief Seattle

Your "beasts" are whatever they are for you as the individual. Mine tend to be more along the lines of personal, professional & spiritual. Funny really, how they coincide with the 3 philosophies of human ecology; mind, body and spirit.  When the mind is in a healthy place it makes it possible for the body to be physically up for the challenge. Making it easier to get in a better spot spiritually. Now please don't confuse spiritual with religion. They are 2 different things. Although for some it is one in the same.

Take care of the body to quiet the mind, so that you may awaken the spirit. Native Americans relied heavily on the spirit world to guide them along their journey and everyday struggles. Whether it was a tree, animal or higher power of their choosing. The problem with today's world is that we are so rushed and under a lot more pressure to get things done or be what others think we should be. Not allowing ourselves time to quiet the mind and look within to awaken our spirit for guidance.

My idea of slowing the mind is to read a book or listen to soothing music and just be in the moment. Forcing out all negative thoughts that sometimes consumes our minds. Thoughts tend to consume me being a single mom and worrying about the daily demands that come along with that or worrying what tomorrow may bring. Worried that I am not good enough. Or that I have not done enough. When I know that today is really all any of us have. This moment; right here, right now. And as long as we continue to take steps forward no matter how big or small, it is still forward & it is good enough just for today.

We'll always have both sides, the dark and the light. The negative and the positive. We are human beings. We tend to strengthen the part of our self that calls to us the loudest. Which side we hear is up to us individually. Let's not forget that all things happen for a reason and are meant for our good. Even the bad experiences. We're given the knowledge and direction we need when we're ready for it. We all got here with god's help and we'll get where we are meant to be in the same loving manner.

When we awaken to the living growing world, our spirits lift and open to the hope and new possibilities life has to offer. If I keep my mind focused on peace, harmony, health and love. Then, I can't be distracted by doubt, anxiety and fear. I have to remind myself on a daily basis that I am a work in progress. And sometimes; I have to do this throughout the day.

Spirituality is one of the common threads through all of this. Our spiritual search is our effort to improve our conscious contact with our higher power. Whatever you choose to call it. I choose to call mine God. Through this will come harmony of the mind,body and spirit. Providing a simple reminder of where I've been and where I'm going.

Let go of fear. Feel it and breathe it out. Letting go of all the frustration, overwhelming feelings and panic that come with it. Quiet yourself. Love yourself through it. Remind yourself that you are good enough and that right now in this moment in time, is all we have. Awaken your spirit.

As always please remember the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers as they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. So that they may one day soon have a safe return to their loved ones.
A special prayer for anyone who is going through a challenging time right now as well. With the holiday seasons upon us it tends to make things harder to deal with.  God Bless.

Bound

"Doubt, of whatever kind, can be ended by action alone." Thomas Carlyle
Breaking the very things that bind us.

What is security based on? This is an important, bottom line question. Security is a basic human need and desired by many. If we look for the object of our search in an area where it cannot be found, we are certain to have frustration and sometimes failure. There is only one security that cannot be taken away, and it resides within ourselves. Security based on belief in our self, the ability to cope and survive and to celebrate life is the only security that lasts. Often times we cloud that belief with doubt and lack of trust.

Doubt is the root of fear. And such doubt causing fears usually come from some thing that you have experienced in life. Which can lead to other forms of doubt, such as trust.  Some causes of trust issues could be from such things as being severely wounded, abused, loss and/or the experience of betrayal.  One could have experienced such situations as far back as childhood or even more recent in life than that. Thus causing our doubt, fears and trust issues as adults that we must learn to face and deal with.

Doubt is destructive thinking and rarely does any good come from it. Please don't confuse doubt with intuitive feelings. God gave us intuition for a reason. Will there be trials and tribulations causing us to doubt? Yes, absolutely! How we choose to deal with it will determine the out come. Trust and love yourself enough to know that you can handle anything thrown at you. Release the doubt. Let go of the negative. Hold on to the positive. Even if you can not find any other positive, outside of..."I will be a stronger, better, more open person because of this experience." That in itself is HUGE!

We all need trials and tribulations in our lives. If for no other reason but to make us stronger. We all know how beautiful coral can be, right?! Well I read this analogy given by an ocean guide to explain a healthy, stronger growth and found it very relate able here. "The coral around the lagoon side is in still water, with no challenge for its survival. It dies early. The coral on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, storms--surges of power. It has to fight for survival everyday of its life. As it is challenged and tested it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It grows strong. And it reproduces. That's the way it is with every living organism."  See folks if you breathe air than you are a living organism. You are not immune to being beaten by the waves of life or winds of change. Both are inevitable. Life is a choice.

Choosing to, you can learn to trust and learn to trust appropriately. You can learn to let go of those fear driven doubts that bind you. Preventing all the good that God has in store for you. You can and will, if open minded enough learn who and what to trust, when. This will give you healthier relationships and a much more fulfilling life. Tame the fear and doubts of your mind, allowing yourself to feel safe, secure and confident. We all have the ability and deserve to be beautiful coral.

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day. As they are out there protecting our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home. God Bless.

Un-measurable Success

Why is it that some of us are so afraid at succeeding in what we set out to accomplish? How can we say "I want to ..." and then find ourselves paralyzed in the fear of not measuring up to standards that others place on us? What stops us from being that strong person we both strife and claim to be? Where does this negative image come from? When will we stop the vicious cycle and push ourselves the same way we encourage and push others to keep going, working towards their goals?

For me this comes from a lifetime of being told I wasn't good enough. That I was "stupid" or that I would never amount to anything. I actually had a lady in South Bend, Indiana laugh in my face when I asked her about having a column in her magazine as she said "oh honey I've been in this business a long time and you NEEEEED to have a college education to be able to write."  For someone like me that is always pushing myself to not give up on my dreams and passions that was a huge set back. I thought to myself, "maybe she's right, maybe all those people before her were right also, maybe I don't have what it takes to write and encourage people, maybe I should just be happy as a mom..."  Maybe!!  But the whole time I said all these maybes to myself I continued to hear a small voice inside say, "maybe not right now but don't ever give up on your dreams. Think them in to happening and one day it will be."

We all have different reasons for our paralyzing fears that stops us dead on our journey to achieving our goals. Mine was always the fear of being rejected one more time. The reality is, life is full of rejection. It is how we choose to handle that rejection in the end that determines the outcome of our success. I could of let this woman who laughed in my face cause me to never write again. And all those before her that either told me, showed me or made me feel like I was less than good enough also contribute to my giving up. But as a dear friend of mine use to tell me, I choose to let the anger and disappointment, motivate me instead.

Often times it is easier to lean on others to make our decisions for us. Leaving all the blame of why things did not turn out the way "we" thought they should on someone else's conscience. I mean after all if someone else is making our choices for us then we don't have to risk creating our own mistakes and trying to figure out how to correct it. We just continue to point the finger at someone else for our not succeeding. Forgetting that three more fingers are still pointing back at our self. We need to give ourselves the same love and encouragement we would give another. We need to be kind and gentle to ourselves while on our journey to success. Ever focused on how far we have come not how far we have to go yet. Each of us needs to find our own center so that we can occupy our own place in life. Taking a risk to create our own life path, not worried about the potholes up ahead or how long it will take us to complete our goal. Rather fill our minds with thoughts of "I'll get there if I just keep trying."

"One only fails when they stop trying"  Albert Einstein

As always please keep the men and woman of all branches of the military in your prayers for a safe return home one day as they are out there fighting to protect our HEALTHY FREEDOMS here at home.  God Bless.